Ranma 12
by Random-chan1
Summary: What if Ranma had an elder brother? An attempt to provide a happier ending for all the characters (except Genma, about whom I could care less).
1. Yes this is the start!

[Conventions: "Japanese" {Chinese} 'thought' or 'quoting']  
  
[Disclaimer: Everything here belongs to someone else except for the stuff that doesn't]  
  
[2nd Disclaimer: The characters in this fanfic are trained martial artists. More then that they are cartoon characters and can be folded, spindled and mutilated and be back to normal by the next frame. You aren't. The basic message being: do not try anything you might read about in this fanfic.]  
  
Kasumi walked lightly through the living room, conscious of a light from under the kitchen door. 'Who could that be at this time of night?' she thought to herself. 'It's far too quiet to be Nabiki or Akane getting a midnight snack. It could be the new arrivals, ' With the lack of fear that comes from being Kasumi, she opened the door.  
  
The kitchen of the Tendo house was in half light, one wall lamp casting it's glow on the figure seated at the Western style table, nursing a mug of cocoa. The young man, on the edge of 20, wore a pyjama top, and trousers with many hand stitched pockets. His shoulder length dark brown hair was pulled back, with the tip tied off with a narrow band. His features marked him as more Caucasian than Japanese. The half-light left his face in shadow, but did show runnels of what must have been tears. Despite facing away from the door, and being apparently focussed on his inner thoughts he nevertheless spoke as soon as she entered.  
  
"Kasumi-san? Sorry to make so free with your kitchen, but I needed time to think. Between dad rattling away like a rusty saw and bro's accompaniment, I couldn't focus."(1)  
  
"Deru-san? What's wrong?" Kasumi remembered earlier the scene that occurred in the living room. When everyone else had been yelling, Deru had seemed the only one in control.  
  
"Huh?" he put one hand to his face and found it wet. ", I didn't realise. doesn't do any good anyway." He sighed and wiped his eyes with his sleeve. "'You weep like a girl Deru! You are a martial artist, show some guts!'" he quoted in an imitation of Genmas voice. "Maybe I should be in girl form."  
  
Kasumi shook her head and stated gently, "No, martial artists are also human, and sometimes humans need tears." She absently made her own cup of cocoa, the motions automatic and deft. "If you want to talk." The half question made Deru look up from his own cup.  
  
"Hmmm. Maybe if I get it off my chest I can get some sleep. I'm so not looking forward to explaining to mum and Ucchan tomorrow."  
  
"Is that why you all agreed to stay over?"  
  
"Yep, I guess we're still afraid to face what's happened to us." He grimaced and slowly but deliberately reached for the pitcher on the table then splashed a little water into his cupped hand. The shift happened quickly. Kasumi, despite her calmness, still wondered slightly at it, even though she'd now seen it several times. The blond girl who now sat in Deru's place continued several octaves higher. "We're going to have to though, since there's no sign of a cure anytime soon." She wipes her hand dry on a trouser leg.  
  
"There is hope though, and the change is not permanent." Kasumi led, "So."  
  
"Why the waterworks? It's because I failed. I've failed mum, dad; I failed Ranma and Ucchan. I have an obligation to my family so deep there aren't words to describe it, and I fluffed it totally. I'm the one who could understand Chinese, I'm supposed to be the responsible one. I should have read that stupid guide book before we went wandering off to Jyusenkyo." He reeled this off in a single breath, laying the charges before the jury. "It's like the neko-ken. We'd have both ended up complete basket cases if I hadn't seen what was on the next page."  
  
"Neko-ken?" Kasumi queried.  
  
"Long story. It was this supposedly unbeatable technique he'd found in an old training manual. I must have been 12 at the time. Heck, both Ranma and I were eager to learn it. The influence of too many sentai shows where the heroes get a big boost all at once. However dad had left the manual lying about and, being just inquisitive enough for my own good, I read it myself. It turns out the next page was stuck. When I unstuck it I couldn't understand some of the words and took it to mum. It turns out that the technique has a minor drawback. Learning it will drive you completely insane."  
  
This showed that some things will shock even Kasumi. "Oh my! How could your father do something like that?" She put her hands to her cheeks as she said it. [This is Kasumi we're talking about. That's roughly equivalent to a massive facefault from most Ranma 1/2 characters.]  
  
"Dad hadn't read that far." Deru shrugged, then put up his hands, "Hey, don't get me wrong, dad's not deliberately cruel or anything, he's just focussed on the school. He wants us both to be the best martial artists we can be. Ranma even more so, since only Ranma can be heir to the school. Sometimes he looses sight of the bigger picture."  
  
"He does seem somewhat single minded. But why is it your obligation?" Kasumi continued, letting this person open up.  
  
"Because of the way they became my family." He paused for a long second. "My mother married a westerner, an engineer who came to Japan. When I was 4 years old, my parents died in a landslide while my father was working in the mountains. I survived, but I had no relatives left on either side of my family. My birth mother was a friend of Ranma's mother. They took me in while things were being sorted out. Ranma was just past 1 year old at the time, and no one would have thought anything wrong if they'd just let family services take over looking after me." He shook his head. "Instead, when no relatives or anything came forward they adopted me."  
  
Kasumi nodded. An adoption was unusual enough, but doubly so considering the fact that Deru wasn't of fully Japanese decent. [But in any reality where some of the things in Ranma ½ happen, it's workable. What are the Japanese social services called anyway?]  
  
"Of course at the time I didn't question it. Ranma was just my little brother and we grew up that way. I learned Japanese as Ranma did, and we both learned more English. well me and bro sort of used it as a secret language. What with the English language channels on T.V. and some spotty tutoring we both got quite good. And again, when dad started training us, we learned and sparred together. It wasn't until I started school that I found out just how different I was. My brother's remarkable, someone who doesn't pre-judge people, even if he was in the wrong line when they handed out tact. Likewise, my mother saw something beyond a four-year-old g- gaijin." He said the word with difficulty. "Despite what Ranma or I may say about Dad sometimes, he does care. He wouldn't push us so hard otherwise."  
  
Deru raised his head and looked straight into Kasumi's eyes. "It's always been that way, everything I am, is down to my family. It's a life debt, a matter of giri.. Ever since I understood what they'd done for me, the repayment of that debt has been my first consideration." His voice carried a tone of absolute sincerity.  
  
Kasumi thought for a moment about someone similar. "It's good that you think of your family that way. I too try to look after my family, and protect them. Of course I enjoy being the one they come to. Since mother died." a murmured condolence interrupted her. "It's alright. I've tried to take her place."  
  
"From what I've seen, you do a brilliant job." Deru replied. "I could feel this was a home, rather than just a house, the first time I came through the door." Kasumi blushed slightly at the compliment. "My contribution is different. It's like bro and dad are trouble magnets. When I've journeyed with them on training trips I tend to end up fixing things. At home, of course, I help mom by having part time jobs, so dad can train Ranma more of the time."  
  
Kasumi looked interested. "You must be looking forward to getting back."  
  
"We did debate going straight home, but Ranma and I decided to resolve this fiancée business first. I'm sorry about that. It's not the first time something like this has happened, though that turned out rather better."  
  
"Ranma had another fiancée?" Kasumi asked.  
  
"It's a bit more complicated than that. In fact it's how I met my fiancée, Ucchan. This was back on one of our first training trips. I must have been around 7 at the time. We were travelling around Japan, Ranma and me with dad. We stayed a while in various places, usually to train or find unusual martial arts styles, then moved on. Now in one place there was this kid Ukyo whose dad had an okonomiyaki stall. Ranma and me took it in turns to snag one while Ukyo defended. We got free okonomiyaki almost every day." He smiled.  
  
Kasumi was less mellow than usual. "Isn't that theft?"  
  
Deru looked surprised. "Oh, it wasn't like that. Ukyo's family had their own martial arts style, and dad set up this thing with her father as training. We got to be friends with her. Ukyo even used to draw pictures or kanji with the sauce. To us she was Ucchan, to her we were Deechan and Ranchan."  
  
"So what happened?"  
  
"First there are some things you must know." He counted off on his fingers. "One, neither of us knew Ukyo was a girl. She was around 5, wore boy's clothes and roughhoused with us as well as anyone. Her dad wanted a boy. Two, well. dad kind of got Ranma engaged to Ukyo. The dowry was the okonomiyaki cart. Three, he didn't tell us about this either. Don't ask me where this left the other engagement, I don't know. It's possible dad just plain forgot, dad's memory is sometimes less than perfect. So one day we start packing up to leave, and dad comes back with the cart, saying Ucchans dad gave us it. I couldn't get to sleep so I go over to Ucchans house to say goodbye. Of course she's packing to go with us, so she comes back with me. Obviously, Kunoji-san had given us the cart because Ukyo was coming with us and she'd need stuff to make okonomiyaki with." [Nowhere in the manga does it say Ukyo initiated the engagement.]  
  
Kasumi smiled at this. Deru grinned ruefully. "Hey, I was 7 at the time, it made sense."  
  
He continues, gesturing slightly with his arms. "Ranma and dad are by the cart, already rock solid asleep, so we join them. Next morning, we all go off together. Actually dad seemed surprised that Ukyo was there, but then Ukyo said about her dad saying she's coming with us. She thought it was fun. Dad seemed a bit sulky about the whole thing, but we went on our way for the next couple of months. During that time neither Ranma or I actually realised Ukyo was a girl."  
  
"How is that possible?"  
  
"Well, remember we were on the road, and we didn't have much money, so usually we did our bathing in the nearest river, not the public baths, and it's not like we got changed together. I guess we must have had dozens of close misses, but it never happened. So it worked out as Ranma having a new best friend and me having a little brother. It wasn't until our next stop at home that we found out, or rather Ranma did."  
  
Deru grinned at the recollection. "I wasn't there at the time, but it appears Ucchan walked into the furo by accident while Ranma was already in there. Ranma of course hadn't a clue about such things. He, and for that matter I at that age, believed the main difference between boys and girls was that girls wore dresses. He later came to me saying that Ucchan had bits missing, and said she's a girl. Of course I talked to mum, and mum talked to Ucchan and dad, and found out the whole thing, the engagement, the lot. Oh boy!  
  
"Of course this left Ranma and me with a problem. We'd both been trained from birth not to hit girls, on the principle, you don't use the art against people who are weak and can't defend themselves. Big assumption there. I know. A girl, who could defend herself and wanted to spar. well, it was outside our experience. It's still been rare, people like Akane are the exception. Except in the Amazon village. For days after we wouldn't train with Ukyo. Naturally she got mad and called us names. Eventually she broke down and cried.  
  
"Turns out not many kids back home were comfortable with a girl who learned martial arts. They thought she was weird. We'd been the first people to take her seriously and now we were acting just like her. those kids. I guess she felt betrayed. Anyhow, neither Ranma nor I would allow a friend of ours to get hurt, so we did the only thing we could. We both apologised most sincerely then challenged her. That fight had to be one of the weirdest we ever had." He shook his head. "At the end of it all three of us were bruised and battered, but all three of us had big stupid grins on our faces.  
  
"Mom took it all in hand. Eventually it sorted out that Ukyo would stay with us about half the time, and with her father the other half until she was 17, then she would make the decision whether to take up the engagement. Over the next ten years she stayed with us on and off. I was home most times she was, and enjoyed having a younger sister. Mom taught her girl stuff, while her dad taught her their families martial arts style.  
  
"Of course I trained with her and started learning her style, while passing on 'Anything goes'. While I still went on trips with dad and Ranma, it was usually when Ukyo wasn't there. Now I come to tell it to someone else, it seems a bit odd, as if dad was trying to keep Ranma and Ukyo apart. I guess he'd remembered this engagement and was hoping Ukyo's would fall through.  
  
"I suppose it was natural, but as we were older I started getting. romantic thoughts about her. After all we spent a lot of time training and just messing about. We shared the same interests, the same attitudes, Ucchan's easy to get along with. Of course I was embarrassed about them, after all, she was like my sister, someone I had to protect, plus she was 2 years younger and engaged to Ranma. I mean, I expected that Ukyo would eventually choose the engagement. On the occasions when they were together, they got on so well. Besides that he was better looking, a better fighter, and he was heir to the school. Anyone else I would have been jealous of, but this was Ranma. I just couldn't be. Instead, I resolved that I wouldn't let anything wreck their relationship."  
  
Kasumi looked slightly misty eyed. "Oh my. It sounds just like a romance manga. But are you not the one engaged to Ukyo now?"  
  
Deru grinned. "Yep. And if you think it's a romance manga so far, you will just love how it all came to a head. It was about 9 months ago. I needed paper for a grocery list, of all things, and I found a notepad lying around. I was about to borrow a sheet when I saw it had Ukyo's writing on it. It was Ukyo's diary, and she'd written stuff about me in it. I couldn't help myself I'm afraid, I had to read it. It turns out she had a huge crush on me. Ran-chan was a friend, a dear friend, but I was the 'one who was always there for her'. She was feeling just as guilty as I was. Clearly I'd done a good job of hiding my feelings because she didn't have a clue about them. Of course, then she rushed in, looking for it. " He stops and sighs for a moment. "I handed her the book, and managed to convince her I'd found it by accident. Of course then I admitted what I'd been feeling for her. I'm afraid we both got a little mushy about it. I guess we're both hapless romantics."  
  
Kasumi inquired. "Do you not mean hopeless romantics?"  
  
"I know what I mean." Deru smirked. "Then of course we landed back on Earth with a bump. We couldn't do something like that to Ranma, myself as a brother, Ukyo as a friend. The only thing to do was to tell him about it. He and dad were at home for once. I mean, I was expecting him to be angry, or at least hurt. But when we both got together and told him, he was happy. It appears that Ucchan was a lot worse at keeping her feelings from Ranma, at least he knew something had been making her unhappy. He was pleased to see his best friend had found someone she liked. He never really thought about the engagement, I guess he'd never really got over seeing Ukyo as a buddy rather than a girl. Like I said earlier, Ranma's a remarkable guy."  
  
"There was still the engagement thing. The three of us worked together to shift it. Ranma took dad, I took mum, and Ukyo went back home to talk to her father. Of course dad jumped at it, and now we know why. Mom took some getting round, but she wasn't going to stand in our way after I'd explained the situation. The sticking point was Ukyo's dad. I'd met him once, and he seemed to be a fairly decent guy, but he wanted to be sure that I was worthy, style of thing. I guessed being adopted rather than straight blood made a difference."  
  
Kasumi's unvoiced sympathy caused him to duck his head. "Hey, it's nothing I haven't had to handle before, some people look at me and see only skin deep. Anyway, it came down to me having a duel with him to show my worth. Now, this is usually Ranma's bag: being as I said both a trouble magnet and I'm afraid, unable to resist a challenge, he's always ending up in duels, fights and such. But one of the rules was no outside help. So I ended up going to there solo. I had a week to train with Ucchan, to prepare for her father's tactics. I even stayed at their house.  
  
"Then came the match. Kunoji-san is good! We faced off and things got intense. It came out to an even match, different advantages cancelling out. It came down to who made a mistake first, which happened to be me. I got in a good attack, but landed on a loose piece of shale on the rebound and went down hard. For an instant I felt so low, because I figured I'd lost.  
  
"Of course I was back up as fast as possible, but Kunoji-san should have been all over me. But there was Ukyo, her battle spatula blocking his finishing strike. I mean, she was amazing. I got ready to go at it again. Then Kunoji-san calls it to a halt. Now I was certain I'd lost, and Ucchan was too. So we stand there, waiting for the axe to fall. We're both so wrapped up in us both a minute to realise when Kunoji-san says 'You have proved your worth, Satome-san.' Of course once it sank in, the next several minutes were hazy because Ucchan and I were engaged in a hug that threatened to destruct test each other's ribs, and a kiss, our first kiss." He looks distant for a moment.  
  
"When I actually returned to a state where I was capable of noticing little things like the rest of the world, I realised Kunoji-san was favouring the side where I'd caught him, and breathing heavily. However I hadn't beaten him, and wanted to know why he thought it was O.K. Turns out he'd been keeping tabs on us all week while I was training. For that matter he never said I had to defeat him for Ukyo's hand, just 'fight him to prove my worth.' The rest, well, our engagement is official, but we're waiting until Ucchan's 18th birthday for me to propose." His face had a genuine smile that fell as he returned from story telling land. "At least, that's what was supposed to happen."  
  
Kasumi looked at the downcast person and spoke gently. "I'm sure if your Ukyo loves you as much as you say, your problem will not affect her feelings."  
  
"I hope so.Ranma reckons so too. The question is, have I that right? What about her father?" He sighed. "A path that keeps my honour intact is hard to see. Especially when you consider how my mum will take it."  
  
"I don't understand."  
  
"Well, there are two parts to it. The first thing applies to both Ranma and me. Our mother expects us to exemplify the 'manly virtues', to be honourable, brave and courteous, to fight well, and for the right causes. She also expects us, and especially Ranma, to marry and carry on the family name. It's the reason she allowed us to go on so many training trips, dad convinced her that was the best way. Sort of live fire exercises. Well this time we got burned. I don't believe that suddenly becoming part time daughters will fit the 'manly' description."  
  
Kasumi thought a moment then answered, "You said earlier today that only your body changes, not your mind."  
  
"As far as we can tell. Even when I'm female I still know I'm Deru and a guy."  
  
"Then you are still the same person inside. Besides, you have a unique view of things. You've seen what it is to be a woman. Won't that help you to be a better man?"  
  
Deru frowns. "I think I see what you're getting at. I don't know if mother would agree with it."  
  
"I'm sure your mother will see that you haven't become less of a man. You said she looked past appearances."  
  
"I did, didn't I. But the second reason is more personal. On these trips, when I go along, mum expects me to be responsible for things. She knows dad's passion for the martial arts can sometimes outweigh his common sense. No amount of talk will alter the fact that I failed to stop us all being cursed."  
  
"Could you really have stopped your father from taking you to Jyusenkyo?"  
  
"I didn't try, I didn't even know, it was dad's big secret. I was too busy thinking about going back home, I missed the warning signs. Even when the guide told me, I didn't believe it until I saw dad go panda. Then I messed up a jump that I should have been able to do blindfolded and got both Ranma and myself wet. Some martial artist I am." His face became a tight lipped mask.  
  
"Did he blame you?"  
  
"No, he was just glad I was O.K. In a way I'd feel better if he had." He still looked unhappy. "In fact we haven't spoken at all about it before recounting it today. It's not like we haven't had other things on our minds."  
  
"Have you considered he may feel guilty?" Kasumi asked.  
  
Deru went from gloom to shock, taking the facefault bypass. "What for?"  
  
"You tried to stop him falling in, got knocked in yourself and in the process almost drowned. He may feel he's responsible for your being cursed, and feel as if you blame him."  
  
Deru now looked like a fish trying to understand flying. "But. he's not the one at fault! I've got to ask."  
  
Kasumi smiled. "Tomorrow. Do you feel better?"  
  
Deru nodded. "Thank you, Kasumi-san. I do. I don't know if everything will turn out right, but at least there's a chance of it. That's a lot more than I've been seeing for a long time. I can either take that chance, or sit here feeling sorry for myself." He rises from his seat and washes his empty mug, placing it to dry on the washing up rack. "Goodnight." He went upstairs, quietly.  
  
"Goodnight Deru-kun." Kasumi replied, as he left. "I'm sure you can find a way." As she made her own way back to bed.  
  
Deru returned to the guest room, where the other two occupants had reduced in volume to a dull roar. He dropped onto his tatami and closed his eyes, thinking about what had happened earlier that day. Without noticing it memories became dreams, and sleep overtook him.  
  
[.Doing about 30 over the legal limit. Yes it's a segue. About as subtle as a rhino horn. And so they meet, for the first time... While up till now the timeline has occurred in the Tendo dojo as usual; forget the original road scene. Subtract one bashed up road sign and one bashed up Ranma.]  
  
1) Interspersing Japanese. This I am not doing, except for exclamations and san/kun/chan, because I don't feel translations work for them (i.e Amelia calling Zelgadis-san 'Mr' Zelgadis.) . Japanese is the base language, and you are assumed to be reading it through an advanced universal translator that can handle idioms. The other languages are noted by appropriate brackets. 


	2. Here's one we prepared earlier

The sign on the wall of the compound read "Tendo school of Anything Goes Martial Arts" in neat, hand-written kanji. It was currently slick with water from the sudden cloudburst that occurred minutes before. The three figures stood, two covered in waterproof capes that clearly weren't waterproof enough. The third was covered only in white and black fur. The late afternoon sun made rays through the broken clouds.  
  
The redheaded girl (1) looked mad as she said to the panda, "I still don't believe this pop. Not only didn't you tell us there was another 'Anything Goes school', but you set up an arranged marriage and forget that too. I musta bounced you on your head one time too many." The panda starts to take up a stance, "Groowf!"  
  
The blond girl steps in to stop the incipient brawl. "That's what we're here to sort out. For all we know they may have forgotten all about it. But whatever, we got to find out. I don't want to face mum without all the info on this. We're in deep enough already, lil bro."  
  
The red head grins ruefully and grabs her pigtail, squeezing some of the water out. "I hear that. But what if it's the real thing? I don't want to marry a girl I don't even know." She leans up against the other sign. "To defeat owner in savage combat use back door."  
  
"Then we'll find a way to fix it. I've talked us out of worse scrapes. Besides I think it's sort of exciting there being other 'Anything Goes' kempo style artists. Maybe we'll find new sparring partners."  
  
The redhead nods but makes an untranslatable sound indicative of disbelief that things will turn out that well. They ignore the frantic growls and pantomiming of the panda that was telling them it was a matter of family honour. Ranma [you were expecting maybe Hikaru Shidou?] turns on him and says, "Cool it pop. This time we sort out the mess. C'mon Deru."  
  
They troop up to the door and Ranma pushes the door bell. (2)  
  
Meanwhile in the front room of the Tendo home. [.they miss their cue.]  
  
"What sort of guy is this Ranma?" asked Kasumi.  
  
Soun Tendo, every inch the patriarch, coughs and replied replies. "No idea."(3)  
  
"No idea?" Nabiki leans forward, sarcasm dripping off her tone.  
  
"I've never met him." Soun looks nervous. [3.2.1. ]  
  
Akane, still in a royal snit from earlier, gets in another verbal broadside. "I still don't believe this dad. Not only didn't you tell us there was another 'Anything Goes school', but you set up an arranged marriage and forget that too? You don't even know what this Ranma looks like!"  
  
Nabiki returns to her place at the table and sips her drink.. "You never know Akane, he's a martial artist, you might like him."  
  
"No way, if he's not like those immature idiots at school then he'll be some egotistical jerk with no manners, and probably a pervert to boot."  
  
Soun Tendo tried hard to hold back his tears. "I'm sure my old friend Genma will have trained him to be a fine man! According to the postcard they should be arriving in Tokyo today."  
  
With the sort of co-incidence that only happens in a story, the door bell rang.  
  
"Ohh, it must be Ranma!" cried Nabiki in a bubbly tone, as she got up and raced to the door, playing the overexcited school girl to the hilt. She was closely followed by Soun. "Saotome my friend! we've been waiting." Nabiki opened the door to a face full of panda as Genma lunged forward to get the jump on explanations, forgetting, of course that pandas can't talk.  
  
Nabiki and Soun raced back into the front room, pursued by panda. "Quit it, you're scaring them" came a voice from behind Genma. A foot hooked around the back most leg of the panda from behind, dropping him face first on the floor, and revealing the blond girl. She said in a different voice to the first, "Sorry. Didn't mean to trouble you." and proceeded to leg lock the panda, drag it away and dump it out on the veranda. The panda looked up imploringly at Soun as this happened, unable to get leverage to break free.  
  
"Daddy, is this your friend?" asked Kasumi, showing more emotion than she does for the entire rest of the series.  
  
Soun frantically shook his head.  
  
"Oh so a panda just decided to visit. That happens all the time." Nabiki also yelled.  
  
The original voice said from the hallway, "Ano. Hello." Standing at the door was Ranma, one hand behind her head.  
  
"You wouldn't be." asked Soun, pointing at the girl..  
  
".Ranma Saotome. Sorry about this."  
  
Soun immediately jumped forward, and grabbed Ranmas shoulders. "At last, You've come!" Nabiki back in full schoolgirl squeal mode went "Ohhh! He's cute."  
  
Soun hugged Ranma. "It's so good of ." He doesn't notice Ranma wincing. He does notice that his hug is clearly more pneumatic than he expected. As he released Ranma and moves back, Nabiki came forward and, one finger extended prodded Ranma's. front. [Insert poit poit sound effect].  
  
"Please don't do that." asked Ranma, looking embarrassed.  
  
Akane now looked more sympathetic. "Nabiki, stop that! She's our guest."  
  
Nabiki turned to her father. "'He' is a girl." Soun, of course, reacted in the mature and rational manner befitting the patriarch of the Tendo clan; he fainted.  
  
As Kasumi took care of their unconscious father and Nabiki berated him, Akane took their guest away from the scene.  
  
"I'm Akane Tendo. I think father was expecting a boy, Saotome-san. I apologise for our reactions."  
  
"Well. It's O.K. I'm sorry we scared you. That shouldn't of happened." The red haired girl bobbed her head forward, pigtail flicking round one shoulder. Akane finally got a good look at Ranma, the standard version in an oversized Chinese patterned red shirt.  
  
"Hey, you want to be friends?" Akane asked, holding out her hand.  
  
Ranma took it. "I'd like that. I haven't had many friends recently. Call me Ranma." They both smiled.  
  
"Then I'm Akane. Dad said you studied kempo. Was that right?"  
  
"Some." Ranma replied, not wanting to seem overbearing to her new friend.  
  
"Do you want a little match?"  
  
Meanwhile, outside a Panda is being dressed down. ".you made a very bad first impression there, dad. Now let us handle this. Maybe we can clear up things. I don't like to threaten, but if you don't let us do this, between us we'll make sure you don't get hot water, and get mum to put you on bamboo shoots and boiled rice for months!" the blond girl stated, not angrily, but with a sort of finality. Then she says. "Hello. I'm sorry you had to hear that." She turned to face Nabiki, who was standing beside the screen door. She had tired of brow beating Soun and gone to check on their other guest..  
  
"How did you do that?" she asks, genuinely surprised for the first time in a long time.  
  
The girl grins. "Practice, lots of practice." She holds out her hand. "I'm Deru Saotome, pleased to meet you." Nabiki looked over the girl, an inch taller than she did; blond hair tied back, Caucasian skin tone and features. She wore a canvas jacket and trousers that had clearly seen a lot of wear, with additional pockets stitched in. A plain off white t-shirt was visible underneath. The clothes all looked slightly loose and were damp from the recent downpour.  
  
Nabiki took it. "Nabiki Tendo. Why did you call that panda 'dad', Satome- san? For that matter, you don't look very Japanese, though your speech is excellent."  
  
"Call me Deru. It's a long story and one that needs demonstrating before you believe it. May we go back inside?"  
  
Nabiki stepped back inside and with an air of a hostess greeting an important guest said, "Please do." At the same time she thought 'Whatever's going on it looks to be interesting, and possibly profitable.'  
  
They enter just as Ranma answers "Well, I'd like to."  
  
"Like to what?" asks Deru. She spots Soun on a tatami. "And what happened?"  
  
Ranma replies, "Akane invited me to go spar with her. As for Akane's father."  
  
Akane continued. "I'm afraid he took the fact that Ranma's a girl rather hard. He's been very excited about this engagement thing."  
  
Deru sighed. "Oh dear. I think we'd better do some explaining first, without interference from our parents."  
  
Kasumi looked up from mopping Souns brow. "I was about to serve tea. Would you like some?"  
  
Ranma beat Deru to the punch fractionally. "Yes please." Deru continued. "Could we have some hot water separately, as well?"  
  
[Read the manga. Don't you think that Kasumi's and Nabiki's actions for the first few pages are stunningly OOC for how they act the rest of the series? Nabiki, boy crazy. Kasumi less than ultra mellow, and actually commenting about boys. If anyone wrote a fan fic like that they'd be flamed into a server breakdown.]  
  
The scene a few moments later had the five of them sitting around the table, Ranma and Deru kneeling on one side, Akane, Nabiki and Kasumi, on the other. Kasumi has introduced herself to them both. They were looking a bit nervous. "" Deru muttered in English. "" Ranma replied. Deru takes a deep breath. "We can explain this to your parents later, but you're the ones this affects directly." He looks around. "When will your mother be back?"  
  
Kasumi cleared her throat, "Ahh, Deru-san. Our mother passed away some years ago."  
  
Deru immediately looked thunderstruck. "I'm very sorry. I just assumed."  
  
Ranma looked apologetic. "I'm sorry for your loss." he said formally.  
  
"It is alright. You couldn't know." replied Kasumi.  
  
Deru recovered some poise, "This is hard to believe, but I am actually a male. So is Ranma." She picks up the hot water.  
  
This statement breaks the sudden tension. Nabiki smirked, Akane outright giggled and even Kasumi smiled.  
  
Deru sighed. "O.K, watch." She poured some of the water on her forearm. "Yow!" he said putting it down sharply and blowing on the red skin. Of course while this happened the sisters attentions were fixed on other things. Deru grew by a couple of inches and her hair darkened to a deep brown. Finally of course she became a he. The t-shirt now fitted, of course, and showed he did exercise. He continued in a tenor voice. "It doesn't need to be quite that hot. I should have said." He keeps on cooling his skin.  
  
The three were frozen for a moment. Then Kasumi said slowly. "Oh my! That is most remarkable. Where did Deru go?"  
  
"It's still me. The original me. Bro, your turn." Ranma poured some water in his saucer and blew on it before repeating Deru's actions. He changed as well, to his true form. Nabiki's eyes had turned calculating and Akane seemed annoyed.  
  
Ranma took over. "It's a curse, magic. Whenever we get hit with cold water we turn into girls, hot water changes us back. Courtesy of our idiot father. At least he got his own curse, so he knows what we're going through."  
  
Nabiki said slowly. "So that panda outside."  
  
Deru replied. "Bingo. Different curse. He turns into a panda. You see what I meant."  
  
Kasumi has regained most of her poise. "How did this happen?" she asks Ranma.  
  
"We're both martial artists. We were on a training trip with pop and visited some 'legendary training grounds' in China. It was about two months ago that we got to the cursed springs of Jyusenkyo. Pop found out about it in this booklet, not that he would let us see the thing.  
  
"I didn't think it looked that scary. It was just this valley with a whole load of small pools in it, and lots of bamboo poles sticking up. Pop was all up for getting started straight away, so we jumped up on the poles and started sparring. There was this guide who was trying to tell us not to, but we didn't listen." He smacks his hand into his fist. "We should have listened!"  
  
Deru takes over. "The guide grabbed me by the arm and stopped me going after them. He said something like. 'Honoured customer, what they doing! Is very bad if they fall in. Each pool have curse. Change person who fall in. Each pool have own most tragic legend.'" Deru said this in sing song broken Japanese.  
  
"Of course I didn't believe it, then Ranma does a high takedown on dad and drops him into a pool. The guide exclaims 'Oh no, honoured customer fall in Shonmaoniichuan! Is pool where panda drown 2000 years ago. Now whoever fall in pool, take on body of panda!' Sure enough out of the spring jumps this panda, which takes up a stance on one of the poles. I think we both were stunned for a second." He looks to Ranma.  
  
"I hadn't heard the guide, so I was even more surprised. I don't think pop had noticed the change. When he came for me I reacted, but I'd lost my centre, and against someone as good as pop that's not smart. He managed to knock me off my pole and towards another pool. Then Deru comes out of nowhere and knocks me off towards the verge."  
  
"Then how did you both end up cursed?" Nabiki asks, looking as if she's mentally taking every thing down for future reference.  
  
Deru spoke first. "Well, I didn't know what spring it was, but I wasn't going to let anyone else fall in. I shrugged off the guide and went straight for the pools. I saw Ranma falling and jumped to intercept him. Unfortunately, I slipped on some wet grass and didn't get a full power jump. I still managed to intercept him, but I ended up wrong footed and dropping head first towards the spring with no time to react. I hit the water, and don't remember anything until I woke up in the guides hut, the way you saw me earlier today." He sighed. Ranma took over.  
  
"I landed on the edge as he hit the water. It was no more than a couple of feet deep there. He smacked his head then just lay there, floating face down. Fortunately we Saotomes have very thick skulls. Of course I jumped in and dragged him out. Well, I say him, but of course he'd changed. For a second I couldn't work out what had happened. I thought this girl had tried to stop me from getting hurt, and got injured herself. It was lucky that she'd only been in the water for seconds. She was unconscious but breathing. In fact, that was when I noticed I'd changed.  
  
"I knelt by her head to put my head down and listen for her breath, and something was stopping me from getting right down. I felt off balance as well. So when I tried to move whatever it was away I found. well you know." He blushes. "I gotta say, I freaked. It's just as well Deru didn't need care, because I was not in a state to give it. Then of course the guide comes along with the panda and gives his potted explanation. We'd fallen in Nyanniichuan, the spring of the drowned girl. We carried Deru to the guides cabin. The guide told us hot water would fix us. It's just as well, because I was fuming." Deru looked slightly nervous at that, and cut in.  
  
"We spent the next month trying to get back to Japan. We saved what little money we had left. We walked wherever possible, took tatami class on the ferry back, anything we could do. We ended up as girls three quarters of the time because we'd suddenly become cold water magnets. Some of the situations we ended up in. Anyway, there you have it. our own 'most tragic legend.'"  
  
The three Tendo girls were silent for a minute. Kasumi spoke first. "Is there no cure?"  
  
Both guys replied at once. Then Ranma took over. "The guide told us of a spring of the drowned man, Nanniichuan. Some of that should return us to normal. But while we were there it was flooded and mixing with some other springs. We weren't going to risk that. He reckoned that it wouldn't clear till next summer. We left some of our money, and promised more, for him to send us a barrel full when it clears. We've also got the phone number. But until next year, we're stuck as girls." He sounded disgusted.  
  
Akane started to say something, but Nabiki came in. "That still doesn't explain you, Deru. Why do you look so." she struggled for a word. ".western?"  
  
Deru looks down for a second, then straight at her. "I was adopted when I was 4. I have almost no memories of my biological parents. They named me Andrew.Andrew" He pronounces it An-de-ru, first time, then An-droo. "Of course it got shortened to Deru. I was brought up alongside Ranma, and I am his brother, irrespective of my looks." He said this with a forceful tone, as if he expected someone to dispute him.  
  
When nobody did, Deru looks relieved. He eases back and breathes out. "Now to the matter we came here for, this engagement between Ranma and one of you. Ranma and I discussed this and would like."  
  
Soun suddenly jumps in, having recovered and been listening in the background. ". to go ahead immediately with the arrangements, I understand. Since hot water reverses the curse, the problem isn't so bad after all." He turns to Ranma and carries on without giving anyone a chance to interrupt. "You've met my three daughters. Kasumi is 19, Nabiki is 17 and Akane is 16." He gestures to each in turn. "Pick the one you want. She'll be your fiancée."  
  
Ranma is left wordless for a minute. Into this dead space jumps Akane, who's been heating up, as she finds out the girl she befriended is actually a boy. "Are you insane dad! You still expect one of us to marry this freak!"  
  
Nabiki said more lightly. "Well, Akane, you did say you didn't like the boys at school. Well, he's not from our school and he's a girl half the time."  
  
Ranma cringed, then looked angry. He shouted back at Akane. "And who would want to marry you anyway? Some friend you turn out to be." He jumped up.  
  
Akane rose too, furious. "You're a pervert! All the time you were pretending to be a girl, pretending to be friendly, so you could spar with me in the dojo and grope me!"  
  
Ranma looked even madder. "You were the one who offered to spar. Maybe you wanted to grope me as a girl!"  
  
Soun laughs. "You see, you're already a perfect couple." Nabiki mutters, "Yeah, but a couple of what?"  
  
Akane declaims her deathless line. "He's a couple by himself!"  
  
Ranma jumps up. "Let's go Deru. I'll be outside with dad, getting ready to go."  
  
Soun rose up in front of him, demon headed. "It is a matter of family honour. Your father and I made a most solemn promise, the day you were born, to wed you to one of my daughters!" A loud string of bangs interrupted him.  
  
Everyone turned back to the table. Deru was standing there with a string of firecrackers that he'd whipped from one of his many pockets. "Will everyone calm down!" he said, not in a loud voice, but one that penetrated. "I was about to say, we wanted to cancel the existing engagement. With things as they currently are, we didn't want to drag anyone in to our problems. Right Ranma?"  
  
"Yeah. That's right." Ranma said still fuming.  
  
"We weren't even aware another school existed, let alone of this engagement, until 2 days ago. We came here to get acquainted, possibly find friends who shared our interests, new sparring partners even, not force through some ridiculous drunken promise neither our mother nor we knew about! We got that much from dad."  
  
He turned to Soun. "It was when you were celebrating Ranma's birth. You were both drinking and thought it would be a good idea to unite the schools?"  
  
Soun suddenly looked a lot less fearsome. "Well, yes. It was a glorious moment."  
  
Ranma interrupted. "And I thought pop was hopeless! You were going to marry one of your daughters to someone you'd never met simply to make good on the promise? Unbelievable!"  
  
Akane now looked a little stunned at Ranma turning round and defending her point of view. 'Maybe I misjudged him.'  
  
Deru turned to the two elder sisters. "Do you wish to carry through this agreement? There was no omiai, no formal proposal, the whole thing is a farce!"  
  
[Omiai - In an arranged marriage there is usually a formal meeting where the two participants get acquainted before the marriage is agreed.]  
  
Kasumi shook her head. "We were also informed of the engagement a few days ago. I would prefer not to go through with it. No offence to you Saotome- san." she said to Ranma.  
  
"An arranged marriage is so old fashioned." Nabiki stated. "I didn't think dad would be so serious about it. I'm in favour of breaking it."  
  
Deru turned to Akane, and said coolly. "Tendo-san. You've already made your position clear." He turns back to Soun. "I am sorry Tendo-san," his different intonation shows respect this time, "it is the consensus of the principles in this engagement that it be cancelled. Surely you would not want to go against all your daughters wishes."  
  
"But our families honours, the dojo." Soun Tendo looked at his three daughters and saw no acceptance there. His momentary backbone vanished, and he slumped. "Very. well." He started to tear up. Ranma turned to him. With difficulty he said, "I'm. sorry. Tendo-san. Pop's outside. We can take him some hot water and you can see him again, while we get ready to leave." He leads the somewhat stunned father out onto the veranda, carrying the hot water jug.  
  
1) Onna-Ranma's hair is black, not red, in the manga. However everybody's used it for the same reason I am, to make Ranma's girl form identifiable. Likewise Onna-Deru is a blond. There is evidence to suggest that some curses do personalise, the best being that spring of drowned man would restore Ranma rather than turning him into some other boy. There's also Herb, who fell in and turned into a female version of himself, not a Ranma duplicate.  
  
2) Names for shapeshifters. I have tried to make the sex/species obvious from context so no Ranma-chan, or onna-Ranma (except in this explanation. oops!)  
  
3) Names in general. Yes, I am putting personal names first, family last. And yes, I know it should be the other way round. 


	3. Doings in the dojo

Kasumi turned to Deru. "Surely you aren't going already?"  
  
"I'm afraid we have to. We've clearly over-imposed on your hospitality. Besides we have a walk home. We live in Shinjuku."  
  
"Shinjuku? That's 10 or 12 kilometers away." exclaimed Akane.  
  
[Despite what many other fanfic authors reckon, I put the Tendo dojo in the west half of Nerima ward. Shinjuku ward touches the eastern tip of it and Minato ward is just to the south, with it's famous district of Azabu Juban and the Tokyo tower in it's southern part. The Eastern edge of Shinjuku abuts Tokyo proper.]  
  
Deru grinned. "Heh. We've walked a lot further than that, in far less safe territory. We freaks are tough."  
  
Akane looked unhappy. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I was just mad when I thought we were being taken advantage of." (1)  
  
"It doesn't bother me. 'Freak' is mild compared to some of the things I've been called. Some people still seem to think we live in the Tokugawa era. I'm afraid that Ranma is more sensitive about it. Dad's always banging on at him to be a man, to be strong and courageous, never to cry and to show his emotions. Anything like that is considered weak and 'womanly'." He said this last word sarcastically. It's clear he's been holding this in for some time and it's finally exceeded critical mass.  
  
"As the heir to the Saotome school he's got to be better than perfect. Ever since we've had this curse he's been going on about how Ranma's no longer a true man. Which is rich, considering dads' own curse. Plus we've met other female martial artists, on our travels and there's nothing weak about any of them. All the same, you managed to find the most deadly insult you could possibly have conceived. He's the one you should apologise to." Akane looks at him for a moment then nods.  
  
A yell of rage came from outside, shortly followed by a splash, and a raised female voice. Deru looked up. "Sounds like our dad just found out." he remarked.  
  
Kasumi got up, "I'll make some more warm water." and received a thank you from Deru. As she leaves, a second louder splash is heard as a bespectacled martial artist is reintroduced to cold water.  
  
Nabiki homed in on Deru. "So what were you going to do next?"  
  
Deru shrugged "When we get home, explain our problem to mum and."  
  
Ranma comes in via the hallway, dripping wet and holding a towel and a bundle of clothing. "Stupid panda. drop me in a pond." she muttered to herself. "Your dad wanted some sake, and my dad needs more hot water. Is there somewhere I can change?" she said, undoing the top of her shirt and pulling it up.  
  
"Ranma!" Deru called, "You're exposed."  
  
"Waff?" The shirt came down. "Uh. sorry." he ducked back. [Yeah, I know he said 'Nani?' or 'Naffi?' as it would have been through the shirt, but I only put in Japanese where there is no translation.]  
  
"The furo's last on the right." called Nabiki. A muffled "Thanks" comes back down the corridor.  
  
Akane looked on, a bit incredulous. "She has no feminine modesty."  
  
Deru nodded. "We aren't feminine. I forget too sometimes. For a guy taking off a wet shirt is nothing unusual. Remember, you've had years to deal with being a girl. We've had a month under hardly ideal conditions. It's not been pleasant."  
  
Akane looked slightly miffed. "What's so bad about being a girl?"  
  
Deru held up his hands. "Nothing, if you were born one. But we've had to figure out how to be girls by trial and error. examples. Protecting your chest while sparring, sitting down on the toilet every time. 'That time of the month'." He blushes.  
  
"That happens to you?" Nabiki exclaimed.  
  
Deru nodded, "My first time was 3 days after we left Jyusenkyo. Continuous rain. Hot water was no use. We were sparring, when I suddenly I got stomach pains. Then came the bleeding. No warning, it just happened. Ranma, of course figured he'd injured me. I did too at first, but I remembered enough about biology to figure out what was going on."  
  
Akane frowned. "You should have seen a doctor. Our family doctor, Tofu- sensei will know what to do, or who you should see."  
  
"Heh, what with travel expenses and food, we didn't have the money. Even so, in China, whom could we trust? I can speak Chinese moderately well, but that doesn't make me an expert on the culture."  
  
Ranma reentered, looking much more masculine, Chinese army surplus costume on. "O.K. we're ready as soon as dad gets sorted."  
  
Nabiki cut in. "You could always stay the night. You could use the guest room." Akane looked across at her in slight puzzlement, which would have been alleviated if she were a telepath. 'Must get them to stay. There have to be ways to make money on this.' (2)  
  
Akane stood up. She steeled herself and said, "I'm sorry for what I said earlier. I wasn't really angry with you, so much as the situation we were in. I spoke with out thinking. I didn't mean it."  
  
Ranma stopped for a moment then broke into a smile. "Hey, I'm sorry about what I said too. Me and pop we're experts at speaking before thinking. Saotome foot in mouth disease Deru calls it." [O.K the Japanese wouldn't work that way, but assume the UT is taking liberties.]  
  
"Do you want to start over?" asked Akane, tentatively.  
  
"I'd like that." replies Ranma.  
  
"That reminds me, I still want that match in the dojo." Akane said, some of her earlier good humour restored. "Do you want to change?"  
  
"I'll do it as a guy, if it's all the same to you."  
  
Akane give a little groan. "No, I meant do you want to get into training clothes, a gi or something."  
  
Ranma shakes his head. "I train in normal clothes. That way I'm used to them. To be the best you gotta be ready to take any challenge, at any time."  
  
Deru asked Akane, "Mind if I come too? I'd like to see what you can do."  
  
Nabiki headed upstairs, saying something about immortalizing the moment.  
  
&&&  
  
As they passed out the front door, they could see the two fathers, Genma in human form, sitting on the veranda in the evening twilight. A bottle of sake sat between them.  
  
"Wanna bet they're plotting to reinstate the engagement?" asked Ranma.  
  
"No bet. Dad is not one to let go of an idea that easily." said Nabiki.  
  
"Pop's the same way." Ranma said. "The old panda's persistent, I'll give him that."  
  
"Well, it will keep them out of our hair." Deru stated, unconsciously pulling his hand over the back of his head to straighten his tieback.  
  
Akane was silent, but her thoughts weren't. 'He is an egotistical jerk. 'To be the best.' indeed.' Then she considered how he'd stood up against the engagement 'Well maybe not a complete jerk. Still, we'll see how cocky he is after this.'  
  
Ranma and Deru entered first, bowing in respect as they went in.  
  
"This is nice, Akane!" Ranma exclaimed as he looked around the dojo. " We have to use the garden of our place when we're there."  
  
Akane blushed. "Dad used to teach, but hasn't for a long time. Dad stopped taking on new students since mom died."  
  
Ranma slapped his forehead with his palm heel. "Idiot!" he turns round to Akane. "I didn't mean to bring up bad memories."  
  
Akane cut this short by slipping off her house shoes and jumping onto the mat. "So, do I get a fight?"  
  
"Do you want just contact? I don't like hitting girls, even in training." Ranma said, taking a stance.  
  
'So he thinks I'm scared of a few little punches.' Akane thought, annoyed. "Don't hold back on my account."  
  
"If you're sure." Ranma sounds worried.  
  
"Well, let's see it." Akane gave a grin that can only be described as evil. Taking her own stance she said, "Call for us, Deru."  
  
Nabiki brought up her camera. She is just in time to see Deru say, "Hai! Assume. Go!"  
  
Akane grabbed hold of her annoyance and used it to fuel a combo of the same strikes that cleared a route past the school gates every day. Ranma fell back dodging every strike. He waited until driven back to the edge of the mat then returned a few strikes of his own, easily blocked, but heavy enough to force Akane back a few paces. He used her slip into a defensive stance to spring backwards and then off the wall, spinning over her head to land behind her. He then ducked under the back elbow that came at his nose. Akane followed it round, just in time to jump the low leg sweep he aimed from his kneeling position. He flipped back into a stance just out of range.  
  
"Not bad!" Akane admitted grudgingly, "Where did you learn that?"  
  
"Aerial moves are a speciality of the Saotome school. You're not bad yourself." Ranma replied grinning. "Let's go!" Now he dived in and laid down strikes and high kicking moves of his own. This time Akane had to back pedal. She blocked most of the strikes, and the few that hit, while they made solid contact, didn't do more than sting as she rode them. She drew the strikes further out, increasing the distance. Then even as he extended his attacks to match her, she dived inside his reach with a lunge punch to his stomach. With a speed beyond that which he'd shown he sprung straight up, then used both hands to push off her outstretched arm like a vaulting horse, going higher and back. One leg came forward in a kick, flicking out, and she barely deflected it with both forearms. It still felt like she'd pushed against a solid wall.  
  
'Is he reading my moves?' she thought to herself ' This time for real!' As he landed she dove in again, this time trying to drive him back like the first time. Once again he evaded strikes, but this time he also blocked a few heavy blows he could have dodged. As he fell back, Akane thought, 'Go on. I'll force you into that mid-air trick again and this time I'll be ready.' At the wall she faked a roundhouse then drove in a full power strike at his chest.  
  
She expected him to go up again, so when his head simply vanished, her strike went straight into the wall where he'd been, cracking the wooden panel. Ranma came back up from the splits he'd dropped into, practically face to face, one finger outstretched, and tapped her forehead, grinning. "Surprise!" They stood there for a moment, saying nothing, then realised how close they were. [In the manga version I suspect there would be a frame with a them and a katakana 'shi' with a line as a wind blowing sound effect.] An instant later they were some metres distant, Ranma to the side away from the arm, Akane straight backwards.  
  
"Heh. Good one." Ranma said hand to the back of his head.  
  
Akane just stood there, slightly out of breath. 'I've just been outclassed, by a boy!' she thought. Despite that, the anger she'd worked up earlier had vanished. She turned and said, "Come on. You lied. You were holding back."  
  
"Not by much. You gave me a decent work out. Not many can do that." Ranma sounded thoughtful. "A couple of times I had to give it everything. Otherwise it would have been me stuck through the wall." He inspects the splintered plank. "Nice demolition work."  
  
Nabiki was lost for words, mouth open, expecting Ranma to be red paste on the floor by this time. Deru nodded.  
  
"You could have finished that session anytime, or just kept dodging." Akane stated, bleakly.  
  
Ranma looked surprised. "Where would the fun be in that? You wanted to try me out. I wanted to see what you could do too."  
  
'Great.' Akane thought, her annoyance rising again. 'The idiot thinks this is all some game.'  
  
"It's also a matter of. I dunno. respect. Yeah. On the one hand, I've got give some leeway, so's you can show your stuff. On the other hand, I had to attack. If I didn't it'd say I didn't think you could handle it. Of course it's only sparring so I didn't push it too far. It was a test, both sides."  
  
"And what have you learned?" Akane asked, still not quite sure what to think.  
  
Ranma thought [Nobody ever said Ranma was stupid. Ignorant in some ways yes, but not stupid. And this is his speciality, martial arts]. "Well, firstly, you're strong, stronger than I'd expect. Cinderblock work probably." He ticks points off on his fingers. "Your moves are polished, but rigid in their application so you clearly do a lot of solo kata and suburi. However you do have good all round awareness, so you must practice against someone. You certainly reacted well when I dropped behind you. Your stamina is not bad. Three rounds and you're barely breathing hard." He stops. "But there are points you could work on. You seem to rely on power and winning with your initial attack. Outside your kata moves you're not as accurate as you could be, either. Your defences, both in blocking and dodging are far weaker than they should be, and you're not as fast as me, which doesn't make sense, as my girl form is faster than my guy form. The other big thing is, you're used to fighting on the level. You didn't track me when I went up or down."  
  
"So I'm merely slow, clumsy and short sighted, am I?" Akane asked, with a slight edge to her voice.  
  
Deru noticed this. 'Uh oh. Ranma's honesty is about to cause problems.' "I didn't think so. Just that you could be better than you are."  
  
Ranma nodded, still unaware of Akane's shortening fuse. "Whoever you're practicing with, they aren't a challenge for you. You've got the potential to be much more. You got anything to add, Deru?" He walked over to where Deru is standing.  
  
Deru put his hand to his chin. "I didn't spot the lack of vertical tracking. I did notice something to the patterns she used. You normally fight multiple opponents, right?"  
  
Akane nodded, her face set.  
  
Ranma snapped his fingers, "That's it. Your stance was ready to take attacks from all around. Your awareness too. It makes sense." He stops for a minute. "No it doesn't. Whoever you're training with, they should be harder to defeat then that. You'd have to be taking them out first blow. Surely your dad can organise better opponents then that." He scratches his head. "Did we miss something?"  
  
Akane laughed mirthlessly. "Ha. Dad hasn't trained me in years."  
  
"No way." Ranma exclaimed. "You're self taught? Where do you find partners?"  
  
"Partners! Perverts is more like!" she stomped over to a stand and lifted a cinderblock onto the already significant stack. "I.hate .those.idiot. boys!" A slight red battle aura formed as she spoke. On the last word she struck the cinderblocks, and they broke, well, more like crumbled.  
  
Nabiki, who's recovered, and faded into the background, noticed the change in Akane's usual litany. Meanwhile, Ranma and Deru both took a step back, knocking over the bucket of water used for cleaning the dojo, and which has mysteriously appeared right behind them. "Aww man!" "Woah!" the two suddenly chorused.  
  
Ranma recovered first. "No. No boys here." He stated, shaking his head vigorously. Deru did an exaggerated impression of looking back and forth, up and down. He then did the 'Aiiee senor, bandits have raided our village' pose. The image is so ridiculous that Akane couldn't stay mad. She giggled. "O.K. 'girls' It's not you I'm mad at."  
  
Ranma looked around, in earnest this time. "I'm sure that bucket wasn't there when I came over." He gave a sharp look at Nabiki, who would have overloaded a nonchalance detector. "Nabiki. Could you ask Kasumi for some hot water, please?"  
  
Nabiki replied, "Sure, but in return, I'd like to get photos of the two of you sparring."  
  
Ranma sighed. "We may practice tonight, we'll certainly practice sometime before we leave tomorrow. Good enough?"  
  
Nabiki agreed and headed off for the house. 'I'm sure I can get them to practice in female form somehow. The photos will sell like hot cakes, considering what I get for Akane's.' [Once again, I 'm hoping there's an equivalent Japanese phrase.].  
  
Ranma then went over to Akane. "What's up? If you got boy troubles at school, we're the people who can understand. We've had our own share of boy problems."  
  
"You'd better believe it." confirmed Deru.  
  
"What do you mean?" Akane queried, looking interested.  
  
Ranma was silent. Deru hesitated, then said, "Well. when we're like this. guys keep hitting on us."  
  
Akane couldn't help herself. She laughed out loud.  
  
They both look hurt. "It's not funny, it's embarrassing!" Ranma half growled. "We're guys, even when we're girls, and it's just." he struggled for words.  
  
"What my brother's trying to say is, we're only interested in girls." Deru finished. "And I'm already spoken for anyway."  
  
Akane wanted to pursue that comment, but she was more interested in their 'problems'. "So what did you do about it?"  
  
Deru answered, "Get comfortable, this is a bit of a story." They all sat down in seisa [kneeling position]. "Remember this was on our way back through China, mostly. We stuck to the countryside as much as possible, but we had to pass through places occasionally and in towns and on the boat back we seemed to attract cold water, and the worst kind of letch in equal quantities. We said no, we told them we were engaged, we said we were only interested in girls, sometimes we used dad to scare them off."  
  
Ranma interjected. "Shows the old panda is good for something."  
  
Deru cleared her throat and continues. "No noise from the cheap seats! Occasionally we could escape by ducking into a washroom and finding hot water. Of course there were some who thought 'no' means 'maybe' and 'go away you disgusting creature' means 'take me, I'm yours'" He did this last expression in a breathy, over emotional way that had Akane giggling again and even Ranma cracking a grin.  
  
"And." Akane prompted.  
  
Ranma punched her fist into her hand. "Well, we are martial artists. We 'explained' that it wasn't nice to bother girls like that. They generally got the message after hitting the wall a few times."  
  
Akane sighed. "I wish some of my 'problems' were that bright."  
  
Deru continued. "So with a combination of sweet reason and extreme physical violence, we got back with our virtues, and everything else, intact." He's struck by a sudden thought. "Remember that guard at the checkpoint a few days out of Joketskyu?"  
  
Ranma smirks. "Oh yeah. That was inspired. He took a shine to me, and was holding us, 'pending further investigation' he said. Well I was pretty sure I knew what he wanted to investigate, but they had guns, and I didn't want to risk dodging bullets. Dad had vanished; 'looking for food' he told us later. But Deru told them that we were both honorary Chinese Amazons."  
  
"What are they?" Akane asked, curious. "And how did that help?"  
  
"Oh, right. Well they're this tribe living way back in the hills of China, near Jyusenkyo. Run by fearsome woman warriors. No, it's true!" he emphasised as Akane's expression expressed disbelief. "We were there looking for the cure because the guide said they knew about magic." he shakes his head. "That's another story. Anyway they have this cute little set of laws. If an outsider guy defeats them in combat, they marry him. Problem is they play for keeps. If the guy looses, well, let's say it's a really good idea not to loose. And the local PRC guys do not want trouble with them so they recognise this stuff. Now this guy was middle aged and not particularly fit. He knew the rep, living so close. He backed off so fast you could hear the air crack. We even got a free meal out of them didn't we?"  
  
"Trust you to remember that. " Deru returned. "Anyway, as I said before, if you want to tell us your problem."  
  
Akane shrugged. "Everyday at school I have to fight my way through several dozen idiots to get to class on time. And I do mean fight. It was good training for a while, but now it's getting aggravating."  
  
"What could you have done to get them that mad at you?" asked Deru.  
  
Akane facepalmed. "They're not out for revenge, they want to date me."  
  
Now it's Deru's turn for a look of disbelief. Ranma was equally sceptical. "You're kidding. You aren't an Amazon by any chance?"  
  
Akane looked back up. "It's true!" She looks slightly amused to cast that back at them. "It's down to the class president, 'Upperclassman Takewaki Kuno, age 17, captain of the Kendo club, rising young star of the Kendo world, the Shooting Star of Furinkan High.'" she reels off this title in a declamatory manner. "A legend in his own tiny mind. Talks and acts like he's out of a bad Samurai epic. Wanders around in a hakama and carries a bokken."  
  
"No one's that odd." Deru said, then, suddenly knee walks a step to the side. A stream of warm water splashes where he sat.  
  
"You're one to talk." Nabiki stated.  
  
"I'll do that myself." Deru replied, kiyuping up, and side stepping round Nabiki, then getting hold of the kettle before she can react. 'Oh, yes,' she thought. 'I have to record a fight between these two.' "Hold on one second." she said releasing the kettle, then bringing up the camera. As Deru shifts back, it whirrs as it takes a sequence of images. She does the same for Ranma's transformation. Akane glares at her sister for interrupting her story. She continues.  
  
"For some reason he's become fixated on me. It might be because all the martial artists except me are in his Kendo club, or other sports clubs, under his control. Anyhow he started 'courting' me. The more often I told him to take a hike, the more persistent he became. Finally at the start of this year he made a speech. Anyone who wanted to go out with me must defeat me. Of course a lot of the jocks and assorted hangers on think he's the best thing since cup ramen, so obviously I must be something special. Now they're all at it. I beat them all, then have to face the pervert himself and deal with him. But they keep coming back, again and again."  
  
Ranma's face is a scowl. "This guy needs some 'sweet reason'." He makes a fist.  
  
Akane slumped. "Tried that. He 'fights on'."  
  
Deru asks, concerned. "Can't you get the other girls to help? Or the school authorities?"  
  
"Some of the girls think because Kuno's good looking and rich, I should be proud to give in, or are jealous. Some of the others are mad at me because I'm distracting their would-be boyfriends. Most of the rest know he's a twit and a pervert but are scared to stand up to him. And the teachers are scared of his father, who's the headmaster. He's not around at the moment, but."  
  
"Wouldn't he stop this?" asked Deru.  
  
"Let's just say that he makes his son look normal by comparison."  
  
It's Ranma and Deru's turn to go into Takahashi promise pose #6. Akane just looked unhappy. "I've tried it all. Nothing works."  
  
"Well there's always the Saotome Secret technique." Ranma mused. Deru looked aghast "Surely not! There must be another way."  
  
It broke Akane out of her funk. "Saotome Secret technique?" she said interested.  
  
"Run away until you can think of a way to win." Ranma stated sententiously, but a minor sweat drop appeared..  
  
Akane grumped.  
  
Deru shook his head. "It's a last resort. From what I can see you're in a strong defensive position. You know what Sun Tsu said about them. You won't loose but you can't win. You have to wait for your opponent to make a mistake."  
  
Akane growled. "Kuno is a mistake."  
  
"We'll sort out some way to deal with him." Ranma said.  
  
"Hey. I've taken him on myself and won."  
  
"But as you said, he keeps coming back. We're friends, and friends help each other out, right?"  
  
Akane looked touched. "But you've got to go back to your home tomorrow. You've got your family to go back to. And I'll have to go to school." She said this in tones of gloom.  
  
"Deru will come up with something." Ranma said with confidence. He stretched, "I need to loosen up. Do you mind if we use the mat for a while?"  
  
Akane nodded her assent. She stands back, leaving the two to face off.  
  
Nabiki slotted in a new film and got ready to take in the action.  
  
It started with a stance. Without a signal the two exploded into action. Both leaped to the air and started trading lightning fast strikes. They rebounded, and Deru rubbed his ribs. "You're getting careless." Ranma smirked. They engaged again, using the mat mostly as a jumping off point. This time it ended with Ranma being locked out and thrown into the mat. "Who's careless?" parried Deru.  
  
As the match continued it becomes clear that the moves they used were different. Ranma was clearly the superior martial artist. He leaped and struck, always on the offensive, blocking or dodging counterstrikes. Deru was more defensive, dodging more and using fewer attacks, but clearly using a slight reach advantage to maximise them. He also seemed to anticipate better, blocking or evading almost as a move begun. However Ranma was chain lightning and very hard to predict. On a few occasions they managed locks and throws which usually ended in one or the other wearing down the mat.  
  
Akane watched impressed, and Nabiki almost forgot her camera. The blows they traded were at least as strong as the ones she was using earlier, but delivered at a speed Akane didn't think she could match. The battle continued in three dimensions, with aerial and ground moves, all woven into a pattern. Akane stopped looking at the individual moves and suddenly understood it. They weren't fighting, they were playing. She was reminded of one of the nature programs she'd seen on T.V. of two lion cubs wrestling.  
  
Despite Deru's slightly greater height and reach, it was clear Ranma had the advantage of more techniques and the skill to use them. Deru was finally caught by being a fraction of a second too late responding to a double feint. The straight kick it concealed punted him off the mat and into a wall support with a dull thud. There were in-drawn breaths from the spectators, which included Kasumi, who'd just arrived.  
  
Deru slid down to the ground with swirly eyes as Ranma landed but Ranma didn't seem concerned. Deru then picked himself up and jumped back onto the mat. "You got me." he said, shaking his head to clear it. A trademarked Takahashi goose egg bump appeared on the back of his head. "You alright? Good match though." Ranma replied. They turned to Akane, Ranma following Deru's lead. "Thank you."  
  
Akane looked glum. "You weren't kidding about me earlier."  
  
Ranma stepped off the mat. "I don't kid about the Art." They could hear the capital letter. " But why the long face? You could be far better than you are."  
  
Akane looked sceptical. "You think I could learn to do that?" she waved her hand at the mat.  
  
"I saw what you did to those blocks, and how you did it. You know how rare it is to manifest a battle aura? If you can put the same sort of focus into the rest of your skills as you do your strength." he stopped.  
  
Nabiki is focussing more on Deru. "Aren't you hurt? You hit that wall pretty hard."  
  
Deru grinned. "You train with Ranma and dad, you learn to take punishment." He touches the hand to the back of his head, and his grin fades as he winces slightly. "An aspirin might not go amiss though."  
  
A cough turned their attention to Kasumi. "Everyone, dinner will be ready in about half an hour. I thought you both might want to wash up first." The two fighters looked to one another. "We don't want to impose." claimed Deru. He was immediately belied by the fact that both their stomachs gave loud growls, ". but we would be honoured to join you."  
  
The Saotomes followed Kasumi out of the dojo, followed by the other Tendo sisters.  
  
Akane was still thinking, 'Why didn't I feel mad?' She runs over the fight and the conversation afterwards in her head. 'It's not because of that daft curse, or what they've been through, I didn't know that when we fought. It's not the possibility of training with them.' she paused for a moment and thought back to the moves she'd seen, 'I've been outclassed, on my own mat. He didn't even notice.' She thought this, trying to work up some indignation.  
  
Then it hit her. For the first time in a long while she'd had a fight because she wanted to, rather than having it forced on her. Ranma had treated her as a peer, and so had Deru. She'd been a fellow martial artist, rather than a trophy to be won, or the 'undefeatable Akane Tendo' that most of the other students considered her to be. Ranma hadn't even realised it was a competition. And when he'd won, he hadn't boasted about it, even though it was clear she couldn't match him. they'd just suggested ways to get better. They were even willing to help out with her problems and hadn't asked for anything in return. 'Friends help each other out? No, it's too good to be true.'  
  
Nabiki meanwhile was also thinking, but her musings had a more fiscal tone. 'Do I try to stop them and maintain my photo revenues from Kuno and the others. No, they've been falling off anyway. I think letting them interfere will probably be more profitable. If they're both as good as they looked I can probably clean up with some new betting pools. Besides that Ranma's a cutie, if painfully naive. And that Deru isn't bad for a gaijin. He's going to be tougher to deal with though.' A phrase from her English classes sprung to mind. 'Still a challenge might be fun.'  
  
1) I hear readers screaming. 'Woah. Akane is WAY OOC. I respond thusly. In the manga, Ranma never gets punted or flattened without reason, usually because Ranma's said something insulting or been found in a highly compromising position. Akane is usually nice, even to strangers, see how she treats Ryouga. In the original version, Ranma had no one to talk to but his dad for his training trip. So he tends to revert to insults and such because he's never had experience of polite conversation (Genma as Mrs Manners. please!). And before you ask about Ukyo, that was right at the start, before Genma had his claws into him. This version has trained alongside Deru and Ukyo for some time, and has learned that there are other ways of talking. He has been home occasionally as well. Plus I think he's trying really hard to be nice to his new friend. Even in the original manga they do talk normally some of the time, mostly towards the end of the series. Don't start ringing any wedding bells just yet though.  
  
2) Nabiki is not the secret financial force that keeps the dojo afloat. Her schemes aren't at that level in the manga. Except in the Kashu episodes. Where the money does come from Takahashi-sama doesn't say. I'm not going to soften her up, she's just as manipulative as usual. 


	4. Amazon dot cons

The scene at the dinner table is a repeat of the earlier one, but with the table laid, and two new players. Soun introduced a stocky bespectacled man wearing a grubby white gi and a bandanna. "This is Genma Saotome, Ranma and Deru's father. We trained together a long time ago."  
  
Greetings rippled from the girls.  
  
"I believe my ungrateful sons have convinced you not to uphold the engagement I agreed with your father." Genma asked, looking more like Gendo, complete with steepled fingers. [Have you noticed how all really bad fathers in Anime have first names beginning with 'Gen'? Except for Sochiro Tomoe.]  
  
"Saotome-san, it was an agreement we all wanted dissolved." replied Kasumi, pouring her own brand of oil on troubled water.  
  
"And you two, have you no honour?" Ranma glowered at Genmas statement but stayed silent when Deru touched his shoulder. "Ahh, if only my sons were true men. I'm sure they would have kept my solemn promise. But they are weak and womanish."  
  
Ranma asked hotly. "If this arrangement was so 'honourable', old man, why didn't you tell me or mom?" Deru interjected, "Now father, I'm sure you don't want to give our hosts the wrong impression."  
  
Kasumi left the table and returned with platters of food. Beef yakitori, tempura, udon noodles with tofu, all done to the Kasumi standard. The table was silenced. "Thank you for the meal!", came from Deru, Ranma, Akane and Nabiki. Genma just tucked straight in, Ranma followed suit, but got elbowed unobtrusively by Deru and started slowing down. The girls were looking on in astonishment. Soun however looked pleased. "Genma, you still have a good healthy appetite. You like Kasumi's cooking?" Genma made a muffled affirmative, without slowing down.  
  
Deru paused, a piece of tempura in his chopsticks. "It is good.", Ranma nodded, "Delicious!". While he was eating at a more normal rate than Ranma fanfic readers would expect, he was also fending off Genmas chopsticks, which were trying to snag a slice of yakitori. The fact that he was also getting some food to his mouth and none on the table is a minor miracle. ['Kono ii desu' and 'Oishii!' if you must know. And yes the author does like Japanese food.]  
  
Nabiki looked across at Deru, since Ranma who's sat opposite her is fully occupied. "Is your dad always like this?" Deru nodded. "Reaction training. If my bowl was in range I'd be fending off the chopsticks of doom." He sighs. "On the road, food is sometimes hard to come by. Table manners and a full stomach don't mix."  
  
Soun agrees. "The life of a martial artist is hard and fraught with peril."  
  
Genma has finished his servings. "Yes indeed. The true martial artist will stop at nothing to become the best he can be. He must be willing to give his life for the art."  
  
Ranma growls. "I was willing to give my life. My manhood is another story. And so is my dinner!" His chopsticks catch Genma's in mid snatch and break them, the ends flipping back into Genma's bowl.  
  
Nabiki whispered to Akane, sitting next to her. "And you want to train with these guys?"  
  
Akane looked a little unsure herself.  
  
"Pop turns everything into training." Ranma said. "We've spent years travelling round, finding masters of various techniques and learning from them. Of course, the last month we've also been looking for a cure."  
  
Akane looked relieved to be able to change the subject. "What about this Amazon village you were talking about earlier? You said they might have a cure."  
  
"Oh that. That was the original plan, but it kinda went. a little off track."  
  
Deru burst out laughing. "That has to be the biggest understatement I've ever heard."  
  
"O.K. it went completely pear shaped, but it did turn out alright, even if we didn't find a cure."  
  
This elicited demands from several of the table's occupants that the story be told. As the eating continued, Ranma took up the gauntlet. The Jyusenkyo guide had told them of a tribe, four days travel from the springs, which might know other ways to reverse its effects, and might be willing to help them. Having no better options they asked him to lead them there. The other excellent reason was that they were almost out of food.  
  
"When we'd got there, me and Deru hadn't eaten for a day. The guide still had some food, but even pop wasn't idiot enough to try to steal some from the only guy who had a clue where we were. Besides he could tear off a strip of bamboo if he was feeling peckish."  
  
Genma rumbled. "Foolish boy! It takes a great deal of bamboo to make a decent meal for a panda."  
  
Ranma looked askance at him. "Especially if the panda is you, pop."  
  
He continued. "He was panda'd and we were girls at the time. We pass by the edge of the village and there's people fighting it out on a log. The guide said about it being a martial arts tournament. Of course we weren't listening too hard because we'd found this huge banquet table, laden down with food. Of course we chowed down. The guide was saying something in Chinese, but at the time my Chinese was bad and the food was very good. Deru was trailing, I think he, sorry she, was feeling less than well after certain. events the previous day." The girls counted, remembered a previous conversation and winced.  
  
"Anyway. She came up behind us, and managed to blindside us both. That has to be the only time that's ever been done. Then she told us what the guide had said, that this was the victory feast for the winner of the village tournament and if we were found eating it we'd be in big trouble. Deru, of all people, should know not to say things like that, because big trouble, in the form of half the village immediately found us. Our pop immediately took to his heels."  
  
"Foolish boy. My stomach was feeling a bit unwell after that rich food and I went for a gentle jog to settle it."  
  
"Sez you. The last time you ran that fast you were being chased by those monks from the Temple of Silence." He forestalled the question. "Don't ask. I got about one word in three of the next bit so Deru had better explain it."  
  
Deru took over. "We were surrounded and out numbered by people with extremely pointy and lethal weapons. Mostly hand to hand stuff, and bows, but there were enough that running wasn't really a safe option. Fortunately their Chinese was close enough to Mandarin that I could understand it.  
  
"There was one purple haired girl, Xian Pu. She was carrying bonbori and looked very annoyed. Definitely 'sharp coral' rather than 'uncut jade' She had just won the tournament and was greatly ticked off that someone had been at it. She turned on me yelling. 'How dare you let your pet panda and that redhead eat my prize.'"  
  
There were sniggers from around the table.  
  
"Natural mistake for an Amazon. I was the oldest female in the party, I was in charge. Of course I apologised most profusely in my best Mandarin. I told her that we'd been without food for some time and that it had just been too tempting for my younger sibling. We'd come to the village specifically for help because we'd heard they had great wisdom. My stomach also made a rather audible plea. That mollified the situation somewhat, at least to the point where we were not about to be shish kebobed. However there still had to be a reckoning. We went up before the head of the elders, Khu Lon. Little old lady, but she had a presence about her, definitely a 'daunting mountain'."  
  
Akane said "Are those names for real? They sound like."  
  
"I know the English translations. Go figure. That's when Ranma found out about the outsider laws."  
  
Ranma shrugged, "Actually I can't take much credit. I was next to the guide and said I could just challenge her and win the prize fair and square. He gave me a shocked look and said. 'Oh no honoured customer. Amazon women have very big pride. Loosing to outsider is shame worse than death, Amazon honour bound to follow her to the ends of the Earth and kill her.' Of course when I asked about turning male, he told me about the marriage thing. I'd have probably walked straight into that if I'd been alone."  
  
Deru shook his head. "You're brighter then that. Anyway Khu Lon questioned myself and Ranma in good Japanese. It came down to two options, either become personal servants to Xian Pu for a week to repay the food we'd consumed, (we couldn't just pay for it, dad had most of the cash anyway) or we challenged her as Ranma had suggested. When I raised their outsider laws she said that first we could take the three challenges of the Amazons to show we were worthy as Amazons rather than outsiders. I had a bit of trouble with the translation there. Anyway we could then do a match with Xian Pu without the outsider laws. Ranma of course wanted to do the challenges.  
  
"It was a tough decision. From the way people acted these three challenges were no walk in the park. Besides there was another consideration. What I did next was based on the fact that there were men as well as women carrying weapons. Of course women outnumbered them but they were there. There was also the fact that the Amazons were supposed to set great store by honour. I told them about the curse, and that we'd come to ask if they knew a way to cure it. A little hot water proved it."  
  
Ranma interjected. "At the time I thought Deru was nuts. But it turned out he'd done right. While some people were shouting that we shouldn't get any hearing, Khu Lon at least was interested. She refused to give us any information on cures until the food matter was settled, and held to the same two choices."  
  
Deru continued. "Of course we discussed it, and took the challenges. While we would have been safer doing menial work for Xian Pu, we'd have gained zero respect, and we needed that to get answers. Besides, it goes against the nature of a Saotome to turn down a challenge."  
  
"Well said boy." Genma said.  
  
"Whatever. Anyway, the challenges took a day to prepare, and during the time we were more or less locked up. At least they fed us, even if it was just rice and water. Xian Pu came to visit, mostly to size us up. Not that she thought we had a chance. We took the challenges and passed, though we had a couple of close calls."  
  
"Hey" came from Akane. "What were the challenges?"  
  
"Very scary." Deru grinned. "I'm not sure you'd believe us. Oh, they'd make good T.V, but lousy stories. Besides Ranma went first." He took a drink of water.  
  
"Gee, thanks bro." Ranma frowned. "You really want to know? The first was 'the test of skill and perception', or at least that's what Khu Lon said. Not that big a problem. Floor of the cavern was made up of needle sharp poles which could wobble back and forth," he demonstrated with his chopsticks, "and they did. Bunches came together then split apart randomly. Some sort of water power I guess, Deru could probably tell ya. So the idea was to cross the cavern without getting spiked. As long as you could stay on the bunches you were o.k. If you landed on an empty area it wouldn't support you and." he snapped the chopsticks. "There'd still be enough spikes to skewer you, though."  
  
"You forgot the spiked pendulums." Deru noted.  
  
"You want to tell this? Like he said, big logs swung back and forth with spikes sticking out of them. Fortunately pop's been putting us through stuff like that for years. Without the spikes, but that's probably cause he couldn't afford them. As I said, not much problem. As long as you watched your footing and such it was fairly simple."  
  
"For you maybe. I don't have your supernatural balance. I avoided getting spiked, but there were a few times.. You forgot to mention that it was raining on the way to the caves. Doing that as a girl really messed up my balance" Deru commented.  
  
"You figured out the second one though."  
  
"Oh yes, the 'test of courage and wit.' There you had to guide a ball down a whole bunch of bamboo tubes like a maze."  
  
"That sounds easy enough." Nabiki said.  
  
"The problem was the controls for the gates that moved it were behind shutters, with razor sharp edges. Stick your hand in at the wrong time and they'd call you 'Stumpy' for the rest of your life." Deru held up his hands. "The trick was there was a pattern to how they moved. I watched it for some time before I started and memorised the pattern. It wasn't like there was a time limit. I wasn't allowed to tell Ranma what I had done, though he did watch. He figured it out himself though."  
  
"Actually big bro I didn't. I just watched what you did and followed it."  
  
Deru devil posed for a bit. Finally he mumbled. "Fortune favours small children, fools and guys called Ranma Saotome."  
  
"Nice of you to put me in a separate category there big bro. It was the third one that was hard. 'The test of strength and will.' You had to hold a large weight out, straight-armed for one minute. Drop it and you release various lethal spiked things. What made it worse was that it was inside a box, and the grip, well it musta had knobs or something that made contact with pressure points in the hand. I know there was enough fussing with the box beforehand. The upshot was, just gripping the thing was agony. I don't know how I managed the full 60 seconds but Deru cheering me on had to help."  
  
"No charge." Deru said lightly. "I must admit that one almost defeated me."  
  
"This sounds like the plot of an action movie." stated Nabiki, suspiciously.  
  
Deru said, "You don't have to believe it, but it's what happened, as best as we can remember. Besides do you think we could make up this sort of stuff? Anyhow, three challenges, check. Respect gained from villagers, check. From then on our hut was unlocked. We were free to go around the village. We usually went as girls, because the rain would still not let up for long. The match with Xian Pu was set for the day after next, I'm not sure why. Dad was still playing pandas in the mist."  
  
"I had gotten lost, boy."  
  
"In the meantime I talked to people who would talk to me, Ranma went to watch people training, with the guide. Our own training sessions attracted attention, including Xian Pu's."  
  
"They had some cool special techniques. I got to try a few afterwards." Ranma said excitedly.  
  
"Come the day, I had to fight Xian Pu first. I held my own for a good long time, even got in some good hits of my own but eventually got dropped by a bonbori strike. Then Ranma took her on."  
  
Ranma shrugged. "What can I say? Deru had worn her down and she was using those bonbori. That slowed her down. She'd also gotten used to Deru's style. I'm faster and more aggressive. She was a challenge, but I eventually managed to slip inside her guard and throw her from the log. She was relying on her weapons too much. She got straight up and stalked off the field before I could jump down and say 'Good match' and such. I was a bit surprised, after all it was just a match over some food, right?"  
  
Deru raised his finger. "But we were wrong. I found out why later. I woke up in the village infirmary."  
  
"Infirmary? From the way you were describing them I'd have though witch doctors were more the style."  
  
"Don't make assumptions. They live in the 20th century too. Their place was stocked up with modern antiseptics and bandages, right along side the herbal remedies. Not that those were ineffective. Anyway I woke up and heard someone crying. When I got up and went round the back, there was Xian Pu crying. I mean this was Xian Pu, girl of steel, Amazon warrior. Turns out she'd made some very unwise boasts about how things were going to turn out, and now she'd been defeated she was in. a bad position. As Khu Lon's great grand daughter and the best fighter in the village she was more or less slated to be leader of the warriors. Now all that was in jeopardy."  
  
"I'd have thought she'd have gone after you, for vengeance sort of thing."  
  
"No. She was in a state. She looked defeated. Well it wasn't like we were out to get her so Ranma and I came up with a plan...while I 'recovered'.  
  
"So it was back to the law room. This time there were no guards. Ranma was effectively in charge this time because she'd won, but she asked that I do the speaking for her, to avoid accidentally giving offence."  
  
Ranma grinned. "My Chinese sounds worse than the guide's Japanese."  
  
"Then Khu Lon dropped the bombshell. She invited us to stay in the village. Well more than invited, actually. Those tests weren't to prove we were worthy to be treated as Amazons, it was effectively an initiation rite to become Amazons. It was also clear that she wasn't happy about it. I detected a distinct smell of politics. Evidently her prestige was affected by her protégé's. So I thanked her for her invitation, using the word that way rather than the imperative she used, but claimed prior commitments which we were honour bound to follow in our home land.  
  
"I also reminded them that we were originally male and that we intended to become so permanently as soon as we could. Under those circumstances we could not in honour remain as Amazons. All we asked for was lodging for a few days to prepare ourselves for the journey home. Then I added Ranma's contribution. Since we were unable to remain, we asked that Xian Pu act as our champion. that's roughly what it translates to anyway. As the acknowledged best fighter in the village, and one of the best fighters we'd met in our travels, she would duel on our behalf, rather than Amazons having to come find us. Ranma also added that we would back it up ourselves." He picked up his last piece of tempura.  
  
Nabiki looked to be working this out in her head. "So not only did you get free board and a way home, you effectively restored Shampoo's position and safeguarded Cologne's. That is devious!" Her tone was more admiration then censure.  
  
"Deru always comes through with stuff like that." Ranma said, "We ended up staying two weeks. Khu Lon was grateful, and Xian Pu became a friend, especially after I worked with her on some moves from our style. In return Khu Lon showed me some special moves. I haven't had time to practice them yet, but they're going to be extreme!"  
  
"But this was the prize." Deru reached into one of his ubiquitous pockets and pulled out a plain white packet. "Instant Nanniichuan. Just add cold water. Khu Lon gave me a dozen packets, all they had on hand."  
  
"That's the boy spring isn't it? Have you tried it?" Akane queried.  
  
"Yes we have. Unfortunately it's a one shot thing. Use it on yourself and cold water no longer turns you into a girl. As I understand it, rather than turning you into a particular girl or boy, those two springs turn you into your equivalent form. The instant nanniichuan overwrites the original curse so we turn into our male equivalents rather than female. Effectively, we're cursed to become ourselves."  
  
Ranma grins "In your case big bro I heartily sympathise."  
  
Deru grinned back. "It could be worse. I could be cursed to turn into you!"  
  
As Ranma mimes being struck in the heart, Nabiki becomes impatient.  
  
"So what's the catch? Do you turn into a pumpkin at midnight?"  
  
Amid the muffled laughs, Deru continued. "No, it's simpler than that. Hot water cancels it instantly. Then we revert back to our uncursed forms. Prolonged immersion in cold water will eventually leach it away too. So if we went swimming or bathing in cold water we'd eventually become girls. Of course, we're saving them for real emergencies." Genma had been creeping over and tried to snatch the packet, but Deru had already caused it to disappear.  
  
The last of the food had been eaten. Genma and Soun got up first saying something about a shoji match, and left the younger generation round the table.  
  
Akane suddenly jumped up from the table. "Gak, homework! I completely forgot about finishing that essay for Godai-sensei." She heads upstairs in a figurative cloud of dust.  
  
Nabiki asked the two brothers. "What about you? Aren't you missing school while you're off having adventures?"  
  
Ranma speaks first. "Heh. I get by. Pop has something arranged with the headmaster of our local school. As long as pass the exams, or can show marks from another school, I get registered as a student. Pop never thought school was that important anyway, but mum insisted I kept up."  
  
Nabiki looked sceptical. "That must be hard if your never there for the lessons."  
  
"We did settle down for a while occasionally. I usually went in middle school as a transfer student. But mostly, Deru tutored me while we were on the road together. It was more interesting than listening to pops endlessly rattle on." Ranma shrugged.  
  
"Which only leaves the question of where he got it from." Nabiki's gaze switched to Deru.  
  
Deru put his hand on his chin. "We had a system. I was a couple of years ahead of Ranma. Dad had the same arrangement with the headmaster for me, so my attendance records were more a work of fiction than anything else. I usually got in some time during the first or second term. I got on good terms with the teachers and got what the source books were and so on. By the end of the first term I had notes and such for the rest of the year. Then I could join dad and Ranma on the road with my notes and the ones I'd made when I did his year. I'm a quick study. Of course we both took hits in our grades for missing coursework and less study but we did alright."  
  
Kasumi smiled. "It is good to know that you both managed to get an education. So what do you intend to do now?"  
  
Ranma answered first. "Well, mom made Deru stay home for the two years of high school. Meant a tougher time for me. She'll likely get me to do the same. I guess I hafta. I need good grades for college, and I can't be an accredited sensei without a phys ed degree [Don't they have a tripos system in Japan anyway? Oh well just stick in whatever university level course you're supposed to have.]. After that.I want to teach." he shrugged.  
  
Kasumi queried Deru next. "Are you going to university too?"  
  
Deru continued. "I finished high school year before last. I'd like to do a degree in Mechanical engineering, but I don't have the money, for course fees or accommodation. With my grades I've no chance for a scholarship, and as for a loan. Besides I'm going to have other responsibilities." He fingers a pocket. "I'm getting married next year, at least I hope to."  
  
"What?" Nabiki exclaimed. "Who's the lucky girl?"  
  
"Ukyo Kunoji." He brings out a small self sealing plastic bag with a picture and a thin gold ring in.  
  
Nabiki looks quizzical. "Isn't Ukyo a boy's name? You mean you."  
  
"No!" Ranma and Deru chorused together. Deru continued. "It was her fathers idea. I think he wanted a boy, to train in his martial arts style. In fact that's how we met. We trained together, and eventually." He passed round the bag. [You know what Ukyo looks like] Ukyo is smiling, holding up a hand with the rings twin on it. "We're waiting till she's 18, and finishes high school. She wants to own her own restaurant. I've read enough on stuff on small businesses to handle that side and she's a fantastic cook."  
  
"I'm going to be their first customer." Ranma claimed.  
  
"She's very pretty," Kasumi said conventionally, "But why don't you wear your ring."  
  
Deru sighed. "It used to be to avoid it getting stolen on the road. Now it's because there's too much chance of loosing it when I change to female."  
  
"Does she know?" Nabiki inquires.  
  
Deru's shoulders dropped. "How could she? It's not the sort of thing you can explain over the phone. Tomorrow I have to show her. This thing is the pits." He's silent for a long minute.  
  
Unusually, it's Ranma who has some words of comfort. "Chin up, bro. Ucchan's cool. She'll understand." 


	5. Plan it of the Saotomes

Deru shook his head, whether to deny this or shake off the gloom is not clear. "Anyway, what about yourselves? Have you got a plan?"  
  
Nabiki smiled the smile of someone who not only has a plan, but has kick backs set up from the contractors who will carry it out. "I'm going to finish this year at high school, then straight on to business school. Dad set up a college fund long ago."  
  
Kasumi sighed. "I'd like to go to medical school, but. I don't have the time. I borrow books from Tofu sensei, though as you said, it's not as good as real schooling."  
  
Deru nodded "True." He thinks of something. "How about Akane? She must have her own ideas."  
  
Nabiki shrugged "Who knows? She's been occupied with other things at school."  
  
They got up from the table and went their separate ways. Ranma to get their packs upstairs, Nabiki to read manga and Kasumi to do the washing up. Deru came in after her with the rest of the plates.  
  
"Oh, there's no need to help." Kasumi said, "You're a guest."  
  
Deru put down the plates by the sink. "Heh. Force of habit I guess. Ucchan does the cooking, I usually wash up. If you don't need me, I'd like to use the furo. It's been far too long since I had a proper wash."  
  
"By all means. It should be free."  
  
Akane had finished her homework and headed down to the furo. It had turned out to be much less work than she'd expected. As she relaxed in the hot tub, she thought about the events of the day. The silence was interrupted by a noise.  
  
"Ano. Is anyone in there?" Deru's male voice called from outside the furo door.  
  
Akane eeped and sunk into the water with a splash. "Y.Yes" she called, her voice less solid than usual.  
  
There was the sound of someone stepping back, and frantically doing something with their clothes. "Ahhh! Very sorry Akane-san. Please let me know when you've finished." The door of the disrobing room slid open and shut.  
  
Akane sighed. 'Just as well he asked.' she thought. 'I forgot to turn the occupied sign.'  
  
After she'd finished, and peeked round the inner door to see if any other unexpected visitors had turned up, she dressed and went up to the guest room. Approaching she could hear voices.  
  
".well, everything went as well as could be expected." Deru's male voice said.  
  
"Yeah. We managed to stymie dad and sort things out." Ranma's male voice replied.  
  
"I'm just glad that we ended up on friendly terms with everyone."  
  
"Tendo-san wasn't too happy."  
  
"It's not like he needs to arrange marriages for any of them. The only reason for this engagement is that promise about uniting the schools." A muffled hmph could have come from either of them.  
  
Ranma spoke up. "I'm more worried about Akane. You saw how angry she got about this school thing. Have ya figured out how to sort her problem?"  
  
"Tchaaa. It's not that easy. It all revolves around that idiot samurai wannabe she talked about. He's the key to it all. It's just like that time starting middle school. You were off with dad. I think that was when you visited that mountaintop monastery."  
  
"Gahh. Don't remind me."  
  
"I was the target of a 'lets get him' campaign too. So were some of the Chinese and Korean students. I persuaded the bullies that hassling us was not a good idea." His tone of voice, colder than usual made it clear how the persuasion had been applied. "That reminds me, there was this kid Shaoran Lee who helped. He'd have been a challenge for you. Now I come to think of it, he had a fiancee problem too. This girl who could have been Xian Pu's younger sister chased him all the way from China."  
  
"Oh kami. Can you imagine if I'd fallen foul of those daft laws. Xian Pu coming after me to Japan yelling {You I love}." Ranma grinned, then sobered. "So you think if I pounded on this Kuno guy he'd back off."  
  
"We probably need to be more subtle. Akane tried that. That's the problem. I need more info. 'Wars are won in the generals tent' and all that. Don't worry, we'll work something out. The falling star of Furinkan High is going down." [falling star = insei. We can't use True Blunder - Blue Thunder because kuno-baka hasn't used it yet, and besides it don't work in Japanese.]  
  
Ranma snickered.  
  
"You're right though. That battle aura of hers, she's using anger to channel her ki. If she doesn't learn better habits."  
  
"I spent time working with Miyagi sensei too. It'll become a conditioned reflex. She gets angry, she'll call on the ki and pow! With it pumping her strength and training she'll kill someone." Ranma sighed.  
  
"C'mon bro. You'd want to train her anyway. You were almost complementary about her skills."  
  
"I meant it. It's criminal. Considering what she's done by herself, think what she could have achieved with partners who could match her."  
  
Akane realised she had better get Deru as she'd been asked to.  
  
Making noise, she went down the corridor to the guest room. She tapped at the door. "Come in!" came from inside. The scene was controlled entropy. While Genma's pack lay untouched, Both Ranma and Deru had their bedrolls out and stuff unpacked from their backpacks. Amongst the clothes stacked and folded but crushed in the manner of back pack compression were other odds and ends.  
  
There were two battered towels hung by the window. Amongst Deru's debris were some books that looked to be textbooks from the titles and a battered clock/radio inside a tupperware box. Ranma had a number of paperbacks with lurid spaceships on the cover but with English titles. On the bedrolls Deru sat cross legged, facing Ranma who was lying down, eyes half lidded.  
  
"I just came to tell you I've finished in the furo." Akane said.  
  
"Thanks Akane." Deru reached over to snag a wash bag.  
  
Akane decided to ask something that had bothered her. "How did you know I was in the furo? Was it some of that stuff I saw in the dojo?" 'Maybe they were just saying that stuff for my benefit.'  
  
Ranma smirked. "You almost walked in."  
  
Deru threw a balled up sock at him, which he caught in mid air, seemingly without seeing it. "Oh hush." He turned to Akane. "No. It's true I've trained to sense what's going on around me. I had to, to get an extra edge on dad and this grinning idiot. But it only works within a few feet of me."  
  
"Hmmm.. that doesn't answer my original question." Akane pressed.  
  
"Oh, right. The answer's much simpler. We've got into the habit of checking before we enter a bath. It was okay when we were all guys but since we've had the curse, checking avoids. embarrassing situations."  
  
"You mean walking in on the other in female form?"  
  
Deru nodded. "Yeah. I'm not sure who'd be more embarrassed. Of course we've both ended up seeing ourselves, couldn't help it. But, it'd feel like walking in on Ucchan. It's not particularly rational., I know." 'Besides', he thought to himself. 'despite what mum says, I don't think it's manly to peek.'  
  
"Are you coming or going?" Ranma asked. "Your towel?" He said, pulling the aforementioned piece of clothing off the radiator and sending flying at Deru.  
  
Deru said to Akane. "Noisy in here isn't it? Wild horses wouldn't drag me away without it." He caught the towel one handed. [Bad pun alert. Deru is a root word that can mean to arrive or leave, depending on context. And of course, Ran = chaotic, Ma = Horse.]  
  
"Ya 'always got to know where your towel is' Bro." Ranma seemed to be quoting someone.  
  
"You read far to much bad science fiction." Deru said mock mournfully.  
  
"And who's fault is that?"  
  
"Whatever. Later." Deru exited stage right, pursued by towel.  
  
Akane was stumped for a minute. "What's all that about?"  
  
Ranma holds up a book. Akane translates slowly. He grinned. "When we were working on reading English, Deru brought home some of these from some second hand store. I got into the habit of carrying a couple around. Anyway, it was a quote. Most important thing a traveler can have. Course it's even more applicable to water magnets like us. You got a favorite read?"  
  
Akane shook her head. 'I'm not going to let on about my Sailor Moon collection.' she thought. "I hadn't realised you were the literary type."  
  
"Ranma read book. Ranma read two book. Ranma smart." Ranma clowned.  
  
Akane smiled.  
  
Ranma turns serious. "Akane. I gotta ask you something. Assuming tomorrow works out alright, would you be willing to let me train you? I know it's short notice, but I'm sure we can work something out."  
  
Akane considered what she'd heard earlier. "You could help to improve on those things you talked about in the dojo?" 'Will he have the nerve to say the stuff to my face?'  
  
"That's the easy part. There's another part. It's going to sound weird, but you gotta listen." He took a deep breath. "This all comes from a sensei I trained under for a few months, Miyagi sensei. It's pure chance we met him at all. Pop got chased through his dojo with us in tow, why ain't important. Deru came back to apologise and got talking. How he managed to get dad to agree I still don't know, but we ended up training there in return for doing odd jobs. He taught us about ki."  
  
"Every martial artist understands ki." Akane led.  
  
"Not like him. He wasn't much to look at, but he could do some amazing things. He taught us the theory, but in a way we could apply. A martial artist manipulates ki, well everybody does, whether they know it or not. It's the life energy that pervades all things, both living and non living."  
  
"I know this one. 'It surrounds us, and binds the galaxy together.'" Akane misquoted.  
  
Ranma winced. "Walked into that. You saw 'that film' too. But where do you think that America-jin George Lucas got his whole force thing from in the first place? This explaining stuff ain't easy, Deru's the one with the words. What it comes down to is, you used ki to amplify that cinderblock punch, and from that aura you were lighting off, you weren't using anywhere near your full power. Without it, you might have cracked those blocks, but you couldn't have pulverised em. We both use it almost automatically when we fight, lots of practice I guess, but we never understood how."  
  
"And this leads where?"  
  
"There's two ways to get at ki. The first is to meditate and understand yourself so well that you have no. conflicts, I guess. Then your will becomes your action and you can use your ki to affect things as easy as breathing. Miyagi sensei had that down pat. But there's another way. A strong emotion, or state of mind can give you the same singleness of purpose. Then you use that as a bridge to channel ki. The way pop did it was to push us into doing things beyond our capabilities. If you got the right sort of mindset, you grab hold of ki to do what your body can't."  
  
"Your father explained this?"  
  
"Nah. I don't know if he even understood why he was doing it, just how. At least he never explained it. I think he just followed the same methods his sensei used. Anyway, the big thing is what emotion you're using. In your case it was anger, and that is. not a good thing."  
  
"So what do you use?" Akane gave him a look.  
  
"Self confidence! I can do anything because I know I can do anything. When it comes to the crunch, I never lose. I am the best after all." Ranma flicks his pig tail back and grins, taking some of the pompousness out of the words.  
  
Akane can't help but smile. "I knew it, you are an egotistical jerk."  
  
"True. If I wasn't, I wouldn't be able to use my confidence. Of course I can use other stuff, anyone can, but it just seems to fit. Miyagi sensei was good at getting you to understand the stuff." He stops grinning. "That takes us back to your abilities. Now anger is a great key to unlock ki with. The determination to defeat your foe, destroy your opponent, induces the right kind of single mindedness. Problem is it becomes a habit. And it feeds back. If you keep doing it that way pretty soon you won't be able to become angry without grabbing hold of ki and using it to attack the source of your anger. It's just as well you're a good person. If you weren't those idiots who attacked you would be toast by now."  
  
He sighed. "There's a word for someone who becomes like that, a berserker. That's one thing they got right. 'Anger, fear, hate, they lead to the dark side of the force. They are an easy path, but they will consume you.'"  
  
"So what am I supposed to do?" Akane folded her arms, "Give up martial arts? Try to act like Kasumi?"  
  
Ranma shook his head. "No! I don't think that would work for you anyway. If you found some opposing strong emotion, say love, and trained yourself to feel that whenever your anger was tripped, it would defocus or limit your ki abilities. Remember what I said about singleness of purpose. However, it would also limit your ability to go beyond what you've already achieved. Your best bet is to find some less destructive emotion as your channel. Determination maybe, considering how much you've managed to do, you must be almost as stubborn as I am. 'And that', as someone said, 'is going some'."  
  
"And you'd be able to help me?" Akane said, not revealing anything in her tone.  
  
"I can try. Unlike dad, I have some idea of what's involved. Deru can help too." Ranma paused, trying to see if he'd been understood, that he hadn't alienated Akane.  
  
Akane thought. 'He has to be sincere, he can't be that good a liar.' She spoke quietly. "Didn't someone once say, 'Do or do not, there is no try.'" She grinned.  
  
[In the manga Ranma's background would be the Mount Fuji, fans, the whole works.] Ranma's face lit up. "You'll do it? That's great Akane! You won't regret it." He paused for a moment. "No, I take that back. The training's not going to be easy. It'll be the hardest thing you'll ever do. You will regret it. But it's worth it. Take it from someone who's been that route." He's clearly juiced at the prospect.  
  
Akane can't help but think. 'Nabiki's right, he is cute, especially when he gets enthusiastic like that.' "I don't have to turn into a boy do I?" she teased.  
  
Ranma grimaced, "I think me and Deru can avoid some of pops more idiotic mistakes."  
  
Akane stopped for a second. "Ranma you idiot! I was kidding!"  
  
Ranma relaxed. "Now it's insults. Ohhh. When will a sensei get some respect." He put his hand to his forehead theatrically.  
  
"Yes sensei, of course sensei, three bags full sensei." Akane relaxes too, thinking of how Ranma and Deru were acting earlier.  
  
"Now that is more like it. Welcome to the Shinjuku Wrecking Crew."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"It's what we call our little group, me, Deru, Ucchan."  
  
"Ucchan? Ukyo?" Akane asked, remembering the earlier conversation. "Why do you call her that?"  
  
He gave an edited version of Deru's tale. When Akane asked about his feelings he replied. "She was my first friend, still is my best friend, but I never felt.romantic about her." he finished with, "I reckon dad never meant to go through with the engagement anyway. Sounds like one of the old panda's scams."  
  
"Seems like you don't respect your father at all."  
  
Ranma thinks for a minute. "As a martial artist, yes. Whatever else I say about him, pop was great, is still great. He devoted years of his life to training us. He still keeps us both on our toes when he trains with us. I just wish it carried over to him as a human being. I'd even say he's a role model."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Simple. I watch how he acts, then do the exact opposite. Usually works. Deru, of course makes excuses. He can't get his head around the idea that dad is a bad lot."  
  
"Your brother doesn't seem to take after him though. He's a nice guy."  
  
"Moms influence I guess. He worries too much. I think he's got some idea that he's to blame for the whole curse thing, at least something has been bugging him. He's scared of what Ucchan will think of him."  
  
Akane smiled. "From the story you told, she knows what it's like to be forced to be someone you're not."  
  
"I've tried telling him that, but well. he's in love."  
  
"What's that got to do with it?"  
  
"It seems like when you're in love your judgement suddenly goes. All the wits kinda dribble out of your head."  
  
"That's an interesting way of putting it." Akane said rather sharply.  
  
Fortunately, at that moment Deru entered the room.  
  
&&&  
  
Deru had walked back from the furo, and passed by Nabiki's room. He paused for a moment. Then he knocked. "Yeah, who is it?" Nabiki's voice came.  
  
"Deru. Can I talk?"  
  
"C'mon in."  
  
Nabiki was lying on the floor doing stretches. Deru didn't seem affected.  
  
"If you're busy I can come back later." he said, and turned to go. Nabiki got up. "Just finishing." she said.  
  
"It's just about the photos. Specifically the ones showing the transformation. I know it must be a fascinating subject, but could you keep them to yourself? We've tried to keep knowledge of the curse to as few people as possible. If someone you showed them to leaked it to a reporter. Can you imagine the kind of publicity we'd get if some newspaper found out? I suspect our families lives would become a living hell." Deru held out his hands.  
  
Nabiki hadn't in fact decided what to do about the photos. On the one hand they presented a huge immediate profit. On the other hand she could end up with a family of very good martial artists annoyed at her. She thought back to the dojo. 'No,' she thought, 'the long view is more profitable.' "Were you serious about training my younger sister?"  
  
Deru seemed wrong footed by the sudden change of subject. "Well Ranma was. What's that got to do with anything?"  
  
"Well obviously if you're training my sister, and this sort of thing happened, our family would get fallout too. Under those circumstances I'd have to keep the secret, for our own sake."  
  
Deru nodded. "Thanks. But I don't know if Akane will accept. She's proud of what she's done on her own, and she has a right to be. But I'm hoping that she won't let that stop her asking for help. Speaking of help, what do you know about this guy Takewaki Kuno?"  
  
'Perfect. I can control what they do.' She thought quickly. "He's in my class. He's pretty much the way Akane described."  
  
Deru looked surprised. "Couldn't you have reasoned with him? Surely it's clear Akane doesn't want anything to do with him."  
  
"This is Kuno we're talking about. Reason isn't high on his list of priorities." 'Besides he pays well for pictures.'  
  
"If we got him promise on his honour as a samurai not to go after Akane do you think he'd keep it?"  
  
"How would you do that?" Nabiki asked.  
  
"If one of us challenged him with that as the stakes and defeated him, that would do it."  
  
"Maybe." Nabiki was thinking carefully.  
  
"At least we've got to get him to call off the goon squad. If Ranma."  
  
The plotting continued for some time behind closed doors, then Deru emerged with the smile of someone determined to do good, no matter how much it hurt. He headed quietly back to the guest bedroom.  
  
Nabiki had made several phone calls to various associates [minions] and was already getting ready for bed. She had the smile of someone who's going to make money, lots of money in the near future. As a stereotypical anime villainess she would at this point also have produced an "Ohohohoho!" which would leave even Kodachi looking for new underwear. But she wasn't, so she didn't. The peace of the household was thus undisturbed. 


	6. School Dazed

As already stated, Deru had a grin on him when he entered the guest room.  
  
"Fear not, oh fair and beauteous tiger." he declaimed with a sweeping bow. "Your salvation is at hand. The falling star of Furinkan High is ."  
  
"You have a plan?" Ranma asked.  
  
"You bet." He turned once again to Akane. "Your sister is an acute observer and an excellent strategist. Before the sun sets tomorrow, you shall be free!"  
  
Ranma grins. "I've got good news too. Akane is willing to train with us."  
  
"That's excellent!" He stops. "However, I suggest you keep this from our fathers. I suspect that they'd misinterpret it and have wedding invitations sent out before you could blink."  
  
"Aww man, I hadn't thought of that." he turned to Akane. "I'd wanted you to join in our sparring session tomorrow morning, work on some of the pure physical stuff. But the old panda's going to be in on it, we're not going to get a chance."  
  
"I'm sure that Akane can learn some of our style, just by watching. For now, we've got other things to discuss. Including ways to make our fathers think they don't stand a chance of getting you two together."  
  
Since Akane's part in it was fairly simple, she soon excused herself. Her own bedroom seemed quiet after the lively entropy of the guest room. As she prepared for bed she looked back on the events of the day. 'Have I really found friends? A new sensei? People.' she paused at the automatic use of the word '.who are willing to accept me for what I am?' She hoped so. And for the first time in a long time, Akane Tendo fell asleep with a smile on her face.  
  
In the guest bedroom things were less serene. Ranma and Deru continued to discuss the distressing of Kuno until Genma had wandered in, uttered a few words and dropped onto his futon, quickly taking up the sleep of the dead, or at least, the dead drunk. The other two were lying on their futons, talking over the day.  
  
"Ya know Deru, you were right. Maybe our luck has changed. We did find new friends and someone to train with."  
  
"You think Akane really has what it takes?"  
  
"Sure of it. She's too much like me. Determined to be the best. How can I deny someone else the chance to try for that?"  
  
"Hmm. I see what you mean."  
  
Ranma's breathing slowed and deepened.  
  
Deru lay awake. His mind turned to the problems he had to face tomorrow. Kuno was unlikely to be a problem. Ensuring Akane's honour was not in question was harder, but given Nabiki's info, not insurmountable. Nabiki, now there was a surprise, smarter than she let herself appear, and worried about her sisters problems, but clearly unable to do things to stop them. 'They both need our talents.' he subvocalised. Once that was over there was the trip home.  
  
Ranma might be confident of a warm welcome, but he was less sanguine. Mum might understand, she must know that he was only human. Once the curse occurred, he had done everything in his power to fix it. That didn't reduce the sense of shame that Deru felt for allowing things to come to pass. And then there was Ucchan. Would she want a half man?  
  
His thoughts took a darker turn. A vision of him revealing the curse to her and her shrinking away, a shocked look on her face. His mother standing behind her, sadly shaking her head. "I am so disappointed in you my son." Ukyo standing up and shouting "Get away from me you freak!" in Akane's voice, or was it his own. Deru sat up with a start, heart pounding. The two figures beside him slept on. 'I won't get to sleep like this.' he thought. His thoughts turned to the kitchen. 'I'll have a warm drink to calm me down. Ranma may find wisdom, or peace, on rooftops. With me it's kitchens.' With that he got up.  
  
&&&  
  
The morning in Nerima ward dawned exceptionally fine. This is not unusual, even with the Jyusenkyo cursed in residence, since they only get rained on at dramatically correct moments.  
  
The three Saotomes had already washed and dressed and were now standing out on the garden, Genma, in his eternal off white gi, Ranma in a black sleeveless t-shirt, with 'Ranma' bleached into it in Roman characters, Deru in a blue t-shirt. He had a 3 foot sheath strapped across his back, and a 5 foot metal pole in his hands.  
  
"Just because we return home today, doesn't mean we will slack off." roared Genma. "You will practice today as you do every day." His breath misted in the cold morning air.  
  
"Yeah, yeah pops." yawned Ranma. "Let's go. I'm freezing!" He did some jumps and worked his shoulders.  
  
"I'm ready." called Deru. He was doing some bone popping stretches, using the pole. [Jo staff warm up moves]. He pushed on the two ends and the pole collapsed on itself to form a 3 foot baton that slipped neatly into the sheath.  
  
"Three way randori." Genma stated. They formed a rough triangle. "All attacks, begin!"  
  
The three lit into the centre and attacks started cycling round, the fight travelling back and forth around the Tendo garden. The fight centred around Genma, who though fast was still less agile than the others. He made up for it in sneakiness. Several times he deflected attacks meant for him into the other opponent. The contacts between Deru and Ranma, if essentially friendly, were no less punishing than the bout they had the previous night.  
  
Slowly the rest of the household woke up, aided by Genma's loud cries and imprecations. Akane in particular sat by the porch, waiting for breakfast, and watching the free for all. She was hardly able to make out anything at first, then she saw Ranma glance in her direction and the pattern of attacks changed.  
  
The two brothers suddenly started double teaming Genma, dropping him, then worked on each other. These moves were much clearer, simpler and seemed slightly slower than the blinding speed she saw last night. They were usually placed sideways on to the window during the exchanges. Both started taking hits and locks that she was sure they should have been able to see coming. They even seemed to be repeating patterns.  
  
'Lucky for me.' She thought, watching the two, drinking in the images and trying to understand them. She started to get annoyed each time Genma got back up and joined in ruining the demonstration. That's what it was, a lesson hidden in an ordinary sparring session. Of course their preoccupation with each other sometimes left them open to the revenge of the Genma. First Deru, then Ranma landed in the pool, and changed. "Whaddya do that for, old man!" yelled Ranma, shivering.  
  
"I raised my sons to be fighters, not dance instructors. You are slow today, slow and weak. You fail to observe and evade attacks simple attacks, you cease to move around. Since you act as weak and foolishly as girls, it is fitting you should be girls." he pontificated, standing over them as they clambered out.  
  
He failed to notice Ranma give Deru a glance and whisper in English, . As the two of them jumped forward, without looking they linked arms and catapulted Genma into the pond. "Now who's failing to spot simple moves old panda!" A panda dragged himself out the far side at the foot of an Akane, who was casting a nice warm glow from her crimson battle aura. "So you think girls are weak and foolish? Try this!"  
  
There is an attack well known in Anime. It can penetrate Tektite, an AT field, a Mol shield, with equal ease. It doesn't waste energy on special effects, or time on power up sequences or fancy attack names. No matter how skilled the recipient at dodging, blocking or teleporting it will still strike with perfect accuracy, and will launch them into the air like a golf ball, or pound them into the ground like a stake. It does not have a name, but if it did, it would be called the Enraged Anime Heroine Strike.  
  
Akane lifted 300 pounds of panda up by the scruff of the neck and proceeded to perform an Enraged Anime Heroine Strike on him. Of course her version was clearly called "Idiot Panda", or at least that was her attack cry. He flew through the air with the greatest of ease, in the Takahashi flight position, spinning slowly. [You know, the freefall equivalent of the promise pose, arms and legs at right angles] It was just as well he was unconscious at the time otherwise hitting the tree face first would have hurt, a lot. His limbs wrapped around the trunk, locking him there.  
  
"Now he had that coming!" said a surprised Ranma.  
  
[Yes!! I used the line in an original way.]  
  
"Koala!" stated Deru, pointing at the tree borne ursine. The others smirked.  
  
Akane was flushed, her aura fading away as quickly as it had come. "That fool just made me so mad. I know what you said last night Ranma but."  
  
"Hey, don't sweat it Akane. You can't expect to change overnight."  
  
Deru nudged the other two. "Parent alert! Soun Tendo in track. Ready you two?"  
  
They nodded, and set into motion a diversionary tactic they had planned the previous night.  
  
Ranma's voice changed. ". why'dya do that. We could have finished off the old panda ourselves."  
  
Akane's voice took on an annoyed tone. "Idiot! Like I did it for you two. You should get inside and get decent before you freeze to death. Stop giving everyone in the neighbourhood a free show!"  
  
True enough the combination of cold water and wet t-shirts was producing the expected fan service effects on the now females. Ranma looked down "Arrgh. I hate this. Well at least I've got something to show." He was not facing the screen door and indicated with his hands that he didn't mean it. Akane, shielded from the window by Ranma, indicated a fist. Ranma nodded. "Ranma you jerk!" came the cry. To everyone inside it appeared Ranma went flying backwards into the pond from another Enraged Anime Heroine strike. At least the splash cleared to reveal Akane there, head down, eyebrow atwitch, arm outstretched in a 'lunge punch of the gods' pose.  
  
Deru went and peeled the panda off the tree and shoulder carried him through the front door while Ranma and Akane went in through the window, still in fine form. As Kasumi brought in the food, Akane sat down and exchanged one last "Macho moron" in response to Ranma's "Stupid tomboy" as he headed out into the hall. This had Soun weeping into his miso soup, so he completely missed Ranma turning in the doorway and giving an o.k sign, and Akane's smile and answering nod. Nabiki however did notice and gave Akane a quizzical look.  
  
With everyone returned to their normal forms, the exodus began. First out the door was Nabiki, saying she had things to do before school started. She was joined by Akane, muttering something about idiot perverts.  
  
Ranma and Deru had dried and changed into street clothes. They went into the kitchen, where Kasumi as usual was cleaning up. She looked sorrowfully at Ranma. "Don't think badly of Akane, she's a very sweet girl, but she just has these violent outbursts. However, remarking upon her chest was possibly less than wise. I thought you and Akane had made up."  
  
Ranma looked over his shoulder. Deru was at the door and gave a quick look into the other room. He nodded. Ranma said, "We were faking, both of us. If our dads get wind of the fact that we're not deadly enemies, Akane's the one most likely to get 'engaged' to me, given any excuse. But she wants to train with me and I want to teach her. So we're going to do it in secret. In earshot of pop or your dad we'll pretend to hate each others guts. That should stop them. Actually I'm hoping you can help."  
  
"Oh my. You wish me to keep it secret?"  
  
"There's also a couple of things about today. We're going to meet up with Akane and deal with this Kuno guy who's giving her grief. Nabiki's in on it too. If you can give us a cover story and keep pop occupied for a couple of hours we'll be able to do it."  
  
A few minutes later the Saotome brothers wandered back into the front room. "Don't worry Kasumi, we'll go get the stuff for ya." Ranma said, over his shoulder. Deru turned and bobbed his head in an abbreviated bow. "It's the least we can do after your hospitality." They headed out into the garden and eschewing gates they bounded onto the wall, and roof hopped away.  
  
Akane and Nabiki were somewhat surprised when the two Saotome brothers raced along the wire fence that separated the road from the canal and dropped down a few feet ahead.  
  
"Yo Akane, Nabiki. Ready for the action?" Ranma called.  
  
"What were you doing?" asked Akane.  
  
"Roof hopping. Fastest way to get anywhere. Good balance practice. Fun too!"  
  
"I thought you had to get everything ready?" Deru asked Nabiki, who was being supported by Akane.  
  
"Problem. I stumbled and twisted my foot. Looks like the whole plan's off. Damn it! I doubt we'll even make it there on time." Nabiki is scowling, and not just from the pain. 'The favours I called in, wasted! And paying off on the bets will hurt. My biggest score ruined.'  
  
Ranma looked equally unhappy. "But it has to be today! Once we're back home it'll be too hard to get here."  
  
Akane slumped. "So you're backing out?" 'They are like the others, all talk!' she thought bitterly.  
  
"Ain't said that yet. Deru?" he turned to his elder brother.  
  
"If I may see.? Deru is already kneeling down by Nabiki, and places his hands on her ankle. "Hmm. A sprain. Is there someone who can fix the leg?" He doesn't look up.  
  
"Tofu-sensei. That's where we're going." Akane said.  
  
"I'll get her there, you both continue the plan. My lady?" he stepped forward, towards Nabiki. "I can carry you there, a lot faster than you can walk." At her nod he scooped her up. Ranma called, "Wait a second bro." He came over and, after a few seconds of thought, pressed several points on Nabiki's lower leg. "Hey? What are you.", Nabiki's query is stopped by Ranma asking. "Does that feel better?" Nabiki found that the pain in her ankle had greatly diminished. "Yes, it does."  
  
Deru nodded, "Pain block, I should have thought of it. Ready?" He ran off in a gliding movement that didn't jog her ankle. Ranma and Akane watched the retreating cloud of dust for a moment  
  
"How did you do that?" Akane asked.  
  
"Shiatsu technique. On the road you learn all sorts of stuff. I'm no healer, but you can't help learning a few things when you have to get fixed up as often as we do."  
  
They started walking side by side, Akane still with a worried look that Ranma noticed.  
  
"Don't sweat it. Deru will get her there." Ranma breezily stated.  
  
"I'm just worried about something else going wrong."  
  
"We've had our share of bad luck for today." A scoop full of water from the little old lady washing down her front step gave him a new hair colour.  
  
"You were saying?" Akane inquired sarcastically.  
  
Ranma still doesn't seem worried. "Foreseen, sorted." She pulls out a canteen. "Instant nanniichuaan. Just in case of such mishaps. Stand back or you'll need hot water."  
  
"I thought you were saving those for emergencies." Akane said in not quite a question.  
  
"Well, we figured helping you out was one." He pours some of the contents onto his head, and returns to normal. He tucks the canteen away in his chinese shirt. "Ready for act 2. That reminds me, you were pretty convincing this morning."  
  
Akane smiled. "I've been a member of the Drama club since starting middle school. I like acting."  
  
"Oho, a future movie star."  
  
"You think so." She sighed. "I hadn't set my sights that high just yet."  
  
"No, I can see it now." He started quoting, as if doing a voice over. 'Chapter 12. The Tendo strikes back! It is a time of turmoil in Nerima, as the evil Lord Kuno extends his grim hold over the fair school of Furinkan. But unbeknownst to him, a small band of rebels lead by the fearless princess Akane plans to defeat him and end his reign of terror."  
  
Akane is smiling by the end of this. "What does that make you? Ran Solo?"  
  
Ranma mock winced as they approached the gates of Furinkan. "Looks like some storm troopers want your autograph."  
  
Akane's pleasant expression falls off her face. "I will deal with them myself! I despise. those. BOYS!" She started running at the gate, where a group of about forty boys in various sports gear were clustered. Ranma forced himself to hold back and not join her.  
  
He jumped up on the wall and observed the cries and carnage below. "No Akane.." Crunch! "I'll stop you." Smack! "Date with meaaargh!" Thud! Akane proceeded to demolish the sports clubs of Furinkan under the expert eye of Ranma. As the last figure fell, Ranma dropped down. "Man, you are popular. Congrats on just knocking them out." He drops into a low horse stance and pokes the nearest with a twig.  
  
"Truly a boorish lot. Evidently they each intend to ask you out."  
  
"Oh! Upperclassman Kuno." Akane interrupted, with the tone of voice normally used to describe something you scrape off your shoe. She caught and crushed the rose he sent flying her way. 'Who does he think he is, Tuxedo Mask?'  
  
"And now Akane Tendo, might you fight with me?" declaims Kuno. Overhead the sky darkened.  
  
"Not today. It's a couple of minutes to the bell and I won't be made tardy by you. Ranma, sort him out for me?"  
  
Ranma rose up. "You got it Akane. Se ya later." He waved casually.  
  
Kuno's limited attention transferred to Ranma. "You there. You are being quite familiar with Akane." His bokken flicks out to point at Ranma. "Who are you boor? Ah, but it is the custom to give one's own name first. Very well then, mine I shall give!" While Kuno spouted off, Akane headed indoors, indicating her assessment of Kuno's mental state by tapping her finger to her head. The watching people on the balconies, variously looked shocked, agreed or sniggered.  
  
"My name." Kuno struck a pose. "Is Upperclassman Kuno, junior group E. Captain of the Kendo club."  
  
"I know. I know. undefeated fencing whatsit and Falling Star of Furinkan High." Thunder rolled. Ranma yawned.  
  
"You mock me! Besides you are mistaken. I am now known as. the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!" Thunder failed to roll. The balcony watchers increased in number. "Blue Thunder?" "News to me."  
  
"Whatever. Looks like I stole your thunder, blue thunder."  
  
Kuno is no longer calm. "My patience grows thin. Who are you cur?"  
  
"Ohhh insults. Hardly worthy of a samurai. I'm Ranma Saotome of the Anything Goes school of martial arts. My father's a friend of Akane's so we stopped over." Thunder rolled again.  
  
"What!" Kuno's bokken swept down. "Under the same roof as Akane?"  
  
Ranma lazily avoided the slash. "Geeze! Don't get your hakama in a twist. I don't like your tone, stick boy. Akane told me there was this nutball who wouldn't leave her alone at school, no matter how often she pounded him, so I came along to see if it were true. Turns out you're even more fruity then she said." All the while he kept dodging, jumping and evading the bokken.  
  
"So scoundrel, you hound Akane? I shall bring you to justice." Kuno roared.  
  
"Looks like you're the puppy who's hounding her." said Ranma as he easily jumped sideways to avoid a blow that cut a hole in the wall, ending up on a tree trunk. [yeah, I know 'puppy' and 'hounding' may not work in Japanese. Blame the UT.] "Silence fool! Stand and fight!" Kuno's follow up blow sliced the tree in half. He suddenly found Ranma appearing face to face with him, so fast he couldn't see the move. Ranma grabbed his wrists and squeezed, causing him to drop the bokken in pain. He picked up the wooden sword and jumped back, resting it casually over his shoulder. "You could hurt someone, most likely yourself, with this thing." The third and final prelude thunderclap occurred.  
  
"Sorcerer. Demon. You seek to make a fool of me?"  
  
"Why should I, when your doing such a good job yourself?"  
  
"Return my bokken and let us fight like men." The rain starts to fall. Fortunately the nannichuan maintained Ranma's masculinity. 'Time to finish this. Gotta get the wording right.' he thought. "Sure. But only on one condition. Swear on your honour as a samurai, that if I win, you will no longer annoy Akane Tendo, by her definition of annoyance, not yours, either in person or by proxy, such as these sad acts you had mob her."  
  
"And leave her in your foul clutches? Never!"  
  
Ranma laughed. "Feh! I don't make any claim on her. Of course I could always just walk away with this." He waved the bokken lazily. "But then, a samurai's honour is his sword ain't it? I take your honour anyway. Whatcha scared of. Reckon you'll loose?"  
  
Kuno is enraged. "The Blue Thunder never looses!"  
  
"Then swear the oath, in full." Kuno stumbles through the words, half incoherent with anger.  
  
"Good enough for me. Catch." Ranma flicks the bokken at Kuno, who snatches it out of the air. He then raced straight at Ranma, in the best tradition of samurai films, sword held low and back for a cleaving blow. A split screen would show Ranma race similarly towards the idiot swordsman, hands held low. They meet and jump, Ranma flying over the top of Kuno's strike, and silhouetted by the storm light, striking down with his fingers at Kuno's unprotected forehead.  
  
Ranma drops to the ground lightly, ducking under the reverse strike that went for him at head height. He sprung back up with an uppercut that caught the hapless kendoist under the chin and sent him flying, to crumple to the concrete some metres away.  
  
He went over to the reviving figures of the sports club members. "Hey, guys." They glared at him. "You heard what stick boy.oh I'm sorry.'Upperclassman Kuno' said. He lost, your little battle is over."  
  
"You claim Akane as your own?" another kendoist declaimed.  
  
"What is with you people? What do you think she is. a plushie doll? Of course not! Just fellow martial artists helping each other out. Is this truly the way of Bushido? Beating up on girls? You're all a disgrace to the male half of the species."  
  
A baseball player swung on him from behind. He casually ducked under it and caught the extended bat at the end of it's strike. "If you're going to blindside me, try being a bit quieter about it." The bat came free as he sprung up, out of the middle of the group. He handsprung off the baseball players head and landed by the wall, then doing a standing jump to perch on top of it. "Isn't this a misuse of school property?" He tossed the bat back.  
  
There were various mutterings as the crowd turned to face him. Ranma looked down with a neutral expression. "It's just as well Akane can take care of herself. Otherwise I'd have to do something about it. You wouldn't enjoy that."  
  
"You threatening us mister?" One of the hockey players rumbled.  
  
"Nah. Like I said, Akane fights her own battles. She's holding back, way back when she fights you lot. I've sparred with her. She could have put you in hospital just as easily, no easier than just knocking you aside. Fortunately for your health insurance, she's a sweet girl, and a true martial artist, fighting only in self defense." By now some of the guys at the edge were leaving, looking slightly ashamed.  
  
"One more thing. I may not be that up on the romance thing, but I'm guessing violent assaults on your would be girlfriends sorta kill the mood. If you gotta date someone, I read somewhere that giving flowers or chocolates is a more usual thing. It's gotta be less painful than what you're doing now. See ya!" He sprung backwards off the wall.  
  
"Yo Deru, how'd I.", Deru isn't at their agreed meeting place. Instead, Ranma found the plastic bag, containing their waterproofs and a towel, duct taped to the wall at a height just reachable from the wall top. 'What's up?' he thought as he jumped and snagged the bag.  
  
The answer to that question lies a few hundred metres away and a few minutes earlier. Tori Akahito was the best cameraman in the AV club at Furinkan, and in debt to Nabiki from loans to buy new and interesting gear. So when she had called him the previous night and offered to reduce his debt in return for a little extra curricular work he'd jumped at it. His best video recorder slung under his arm, he now strode towards the school doors. 'Yes! Got the fight, the speeches everything. Nabiki has got to be impressed. It's worth a tardy slip just to record stuff like that.' "Yes! I am a genius!" he cried out, unaware that three sports clad bruisers were coming up behind him.  
  
"What you got, shrimp?" sneered one of them.  
  
Tori quailed and turned to face them. "Uh. nothing.just late to school. oh migosh. is that the time.gotta go. bye!" A meaty hand grabbed his shoulder. The baseball player, smarting from Akane inflicted injuries and Ranma's humiliating speech growled, "You weren't recording that, were you?"  
  
Tori, while an expert camera wielder, was not good at lying, "Recording what?" 'I'm dead, so dead.' he thought. "It's Nabiki's business." He quavered, holding up the name like a talisman.  
  
One of the thugs, brighter than the other two, looked uncertain. "Hey, Tetsuo, maybe we should leave it. You don't mess with the ice queen." He was quoting from a saying that had become popular around Furinkan. 'Meddle not in the affairs of Nabiki Tendo, for she will make your life hell.'  
  
Tetsuo growled. "Who cares! Stuck up ice bitch and her psycho sister need a lesson." He turned back to the struggling Tori. "Give us the camera and we don't hurt you too much."  
  
A girls voice interrupted. "I'd listen to him, and you shouldn't call Nabiki-san or Akane-san names." They turned. A certain familiar blonde Caucasian female was observing them. As Tetsuo turned, Tori instinctively raised his camera.  
  
"And what makes you think we shouldn't pound him, then take you somewhere and see if you're a natural blond?"  
  
She put her hand to her chin. "Well for one thing, the element of surprise." She blurred towards them. We will skip the ensuing violence, to the point where all three are unconscious on the floor. "You alright?" she asked Tori. "You look a little stunned."  
  
"That. was incredible." he replied, lowering the camera.  
  
"No problem." The girl stated, in a more masculine speech mode than he'd expected. "Duty of a martial artist and all that. Anyhow you're working for Nabiki-san."  
  
"You work for her too? Are you something to do with that Ranma guy?"  
  
The girl grinned "Lots of questions. I'm working with Nabiki. Look, do you want me to get the tape to her, so's you can avoid any more encounters?"  
  
Tori thought. 'She could take it easily.' He also couldn't help noticing the wet t-shirt effect and was only prevented from entering nosebleed territory from fear of what else would bleed if the girl noticed. "But Nabiki-san asked me to deliver it myself."  
  
"Okay. Good luck." She turned to go and Tori suddenly realised some more sports guys were coming, having just changed.  
  
"Wait. Please get it to her. " He unloaded the tape and handed it to her, then scurried away.  
  
"Bye." The girl turned and jumped up, springing up to the first floor, via the side of the clock tower, out of sight of the oncoming horde. 


	7. Aftermaths and before English

Nabiki sat by the door, still nursing her bandaged foot. 'It's a pity I had to get up here myself.' she thought. Fortunately, she and Deru had arrived during the altercation, having roof hopped all the way from the clinic, with her carried in Deru's arms. 'I just wish I'd had my camera.' No one had noticed her sneak in via the side entrance, just before the rain started, and her lateness was unnoticed since the teacher had still not arrived.  
  
She gazed out of the window, mentally totaling up the profits to be made from the betting pools she had set up. She had already let it be known that she had a tape of the event and was just considering how much to ask for copies, when Deru appeared at the window, waving the tape. She got outside as quickly as possible. "Why are you still here?" she inquired.  
  
"Your cameraman had a close encounter of the thug kind. Don't worry, I kept him safe. I thought it better to deliver this in person."  
  
"How did you get up here." she thought of the journey to school. "Never mind. It's good you helped him." 'If that tape had got lost, half my projected profits would disappear.'  
  
"No problem. One problem. He saw me. What if he asks about me? The plan was for me not to appear, certainly not in my cursed form." Deru's expression was downcast.  
  
"Hmm. No problem, it's not like you'll be here at school regularly." She thought for a moment. "How do you feel about being your own cousin? Something like Dera."  
  
Deru looked thoughtful. "'Temple', yeah that'd work. Trained with me and Ranma. O.k. Whoa, got to meet Ranma outside. Good bye." He jumped off the balcony. Nabiki rushed to the edge, just in time to see Deru land and bound off, narrowly missing a Kuno who was just clambering to his feet. [Dera is actually used in compound words such as Zendera - Zen temple. I assumed a native Japanese speaker would get the pun.]  
  
&&&  
  
The rain had almost stopped. Ranma, drier and covered in his waterproof, waited outside the school gates.  
  
Deru landed beside Ranma. "Just had to make sure the tape got into the right hands. So how did it go?"  
  
"You were right. It was more fun than just smacking him into oblivion." They start walking, Deru toweling her hair. "Now to get back before dad misses us."  
  
They take to the rooftops once more.  
  
"You got him to promise?"  
  
"The very words you suggested."  
  
"Yes! With that and the tape, he can't wriggle out of it."  
  
"I can't believe it went so well. He reacted just the way you said he would."  
  
"Actually I'm a little ashamed."  
  
"Why's that? Everything went perfectly."  
  
"We took advantage of this guy's shortcomings. Rather then try to get him to understand, we tricked him into doing what we wanted. I know it had to be done, but it leaves a nasty taste in my mouth." Deru looked unhappy.  
  
"Don't feel too sorry for him Deru. He had enough skill to be dangerous. He almost got me on that return sweep. That blade was ki charged. Add to that that he's mostly nuts, and you have an accident waiting to happen. Think about Akane instead."  
  
"It was Nabiki who gave me enough info to figure out his weak points. She's quite a special girl in her own way."  
  
"What would Ucchan say if she heard you?"  
  
"If she met Nabiki she'd agree. I just meant she's smart, and cares. She was happy I'd saved her friend with the camera. To organise all that stuff.she must have plenty of friends." [He hasn't a clue has he?]  
  
"Only kidding bro, I agree they're two special ladies."  
  
"Three. Kasumi may be quiet, but she's the one who makes their place more than a building. She's fairly bright too. Did you notice the bookshelf in the kitchen?"  
  
"Yeah. How many housewives keep a shelf full of well used books on Physiology and Chinese Mythology, in Chinese yet. and no cookbooks? Three then. Oh yeah, I also gave the storm troopers the advice we came up with."  
  
"Storm troopers?" Deru looked curious.  
  
The tale of the journey to school was retold, and the fight. Deru came close to falling from laughter at some points.  
  
"I had fun helping Nabiki too. That doctor Tofu is a real character. He tried to sneak up on me. Would have done it too if he hadn't been carrying a skeleton. Knows his medicine though. Shiatsu points too. Had Nabiki fixed up in a few minutes. According to him it's usually Akane he has to treat." They arrowed back to the Tendo Dojo and some hot water.  
  
&&&  
  
The appearance of the Saotome clan was creating waves at Furinkan. Yuka and Sayuri, Akane's two closest friends were all over her as the fight progressed below. The words of the two combatants were clearly audible, and the teachers had clearly given up on restoring order.  
  
"Who is that dreamy guy?" Sayuri asked.  
  
"The son of one of my dad's old friends. They're on a training trip and stayed with us last night.", Akane said off handedly, confirming Ranma's declaration.  
  
"You get all the luck Akane. First you have half the boys in school chasing after you, then you snag that hunk." Sayuri sighed.  
  
"Hey, he's just a visitor. He'll probably never come here again. And as for those morons who attack me every morning, you can have them."  
  
"But you're keeping Ranma for yourself, eh?" Yuka asked slyly.  
  
"I told you it's not like that." Akane flushed.  
  
"Cool! can I have him?"  
  
Lightning thundered and rain fell. They heard Ranma's demand and Kuno's reply.  
  
"That's so romantic. He fights for your honour."  
  
"If he gets Kuno off my back, fine. Ranma's got an ego the size of the Tokyo tower."  
  
"Wow! Did you see that." Yuka exclaimed.  
  
"I couldn't see him move!" Sayuri replied in astonishment.  
  
Despite herself Akane smiled. "He is pretty good." When the two of them look at her in shock, she rapidly continued ".at martial arts I mean. Not that Kuno's a challenge. I clean his clock every day."  
  
"Oh my. I think miss 'I hate boys' has found her match." Yuka teased.  
  
Akane shook her head. "Even if I thought he wasn't a complete egotistical jerk, which he is, he doesn't feel that way about me." They watched him stalk over to the sports thugs.  
  
Sayuri asked, "Since when have you cared how a boy feels about you?"  
  
Yuka replied, "Methinks she doth protest too much." Ranma tells the boys they're a disgrace.  
  
Sayuri said, "He's sensitive too. Oh my, how did he do that." Ranma landed on the wall.  
  
"The idiot reckons he has a sacred mission to protect all women, because they're weak."  
  
It's unfortunate at that moment Ranma says his piece about Akane being able to take care of herself, and being a true martial artist.  
  
"It sounds like he thinks you're exceptional. That's so sweet!"  
  
"For the last time it's not like that. I'm not interested." Akane fumed.  
  
"Hey girlfriend, we're just kidding." Yuka claimed.  
  
Sayuri stated. "I'm not. He's handsome, strong, sensitive, mature, chivalrous, has a body to die for, and you aren't interested! Are you sure you haven't been hit in the head too many times?"  
  
"Mou. I don't need a knight on a white horse. This is one princess who can rescue herself." This made her think back to the conversation they had on the way to school and she smiled. "Ran Solo indeed." she muttered to herself, but not in a disparaging way.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Just thinking out loud." Akane grinned. "Come on, lets get inside, you two kidders." They headed into homeroom 1F.  
  
In another part of school some minutes later, homeroom 2E to be precise, a bedraggled figure dragged itself into the classroom. Upon his noble brow was a bruise which formed two katakana characters.[/-, / ] Upon his face was a dazed expression.  
  
"Hi, Kuno baby!" Nabiki exclaimed. Most of the other students studiously ignored him, though a few glanced at his forehead and held back sniggers..  
  
"Nabiki Tendo? What scheme do you plan this time?"  
  
"Now is that nice? I just wanted to find out what you had on your forehead." she rummaged around in her school bag.  
  
"Your meaning?" He touched his brow. "That foul sorcerer tricked me. He entrapped my honour and used his magics to evade me."  
  
"From up here it just looked like you got creamed. At least you won't be after my sister any more." Her voice took on an aggressive tone.  
  
"Why say you that?"  
  
"Everyone heard you state you would no longer annoy Akane if you lost. From what Akane has loudly and repeatedly said that means she doesn't even want you in the same ward. You lost. Deal with it."  
  
"A pledge won by evil magics can surely not hold a samurai." Kuno backpedals.  
  
"Half the school heard you. Besides somebody videoed the whole thing. You gave your word. Stick by it or be disgraced." She held up a hand mirror to his face.  
  
"The fiend. He has put some sorcerous mark upon me with his wizardry!" he grabbed the mirror.  
  
"That'll be 500 yen. Amazing! And you don't remember being touched?" Nabiki asked, somewhat sarcastically.  
  
Kuno's voice took on a more derisive tone. "Hmph. And at first I thought Ranma Saotome was good. But he can't even spell." He stalked over to the board. "This is how you spell Kuno!" On the board he wrote the kanji that made his family name. [Kuno - Nine abilities.] Nabiki took the chalk off him. and said, "No I think he was right." She wrote out the hirigana equivalent of the two katakana that appeared on his forehead, mu no. [Muno - No ability]  
  
[Japanese purists are even now loading their flame mail launchers. But that's what I'd heard this joke was supposed to be. No one ever seems to explain it though. From my info Kuno writes the Kanji, Nabiki writes the hirigana, which is right for phonetic description of Japanese words. I think Ranma may have also used the hirigana in the manga, but I can't check, because I have the Viz translatons which use 'Buffoon' in English.. So why do I have him using katakana, used for foreign words and special meanings? 1) It's a pun, and therefore could be considered a special meaning. 2) The katakana for muno are a lot simpler than the hirigana, convenient when you're writing in mid flight with your finger.]  
  
Kuno studied it for a moment then turned to Nabiki and stated. "I despise you."  
  
Nabiki replied. "I'm so glad." Then she pulled out her camera and pointed at him. Snap! "Say wasabi." Then she wandered back to her desk, unmindful of the slight pain in her ankle, calculating what this latest shot would be worth.  
  
At first recess, she noticed with some trepidation, that Kuno was coming over to her desk. 'Have I finally pushed him too far?' She let nothing of this show but instead said, "Something else I can do you for, Kuno baby."  
  
His face twisted as he started to say something that came hard to him. "I have considered the matter, and must agree that my word, once given, is inviolate, even to that foul Saotome. I must give up my intentions towards Akane, no matter how much pain it doth cause my beauteous tiger, or how greatly I feel the loss. For there is someone else I must know of.  
  
"As I arose from the battlefield, she descended from the sky like an angel. And truly she must have been some barbarian goddess, for she moved across the earth as if it held her but lightly. Her hair shone like the sun and her exotic features captured my heart. Indeed I had intended to court them both, but alas my word is given.  
  
"It is well known that you, even as the Furies, have much knowledge that you will share for a price. Know you anything of the beauty of which I speak?" [O.K I don't know if Kuno would use Greek mythology, if you don't like it, replace it with an equivalent Japanese oracle.]  
  
Nabiki is having the hardest fight of her life not to laugh aloud. 'Oh this is priceless! He's fallen for Deru! Well they said they attracted lechers and perverts, and Kuno's the biggest pervert in the school.' Outwardly she maintained her poker face. "I know who you mean. 3000 yen."  
  
"Done!"  
  
"Her name is Dera, and she's the cousin of Ranma's adopted big brother."  
  
"Dera? Truly a heavenly name for a heavenly lady. She is indeed a temple for I would worship her."  
  
Nabiki proceeded to spin a short back story, using Deru's life minus the Jyusenkyo curse, but referring to Dera the whole way through. She consoled her self with the thought, 'This is the truth after all. I don't think Kuno could cope with the fact that his latest crush is a guy.'  
  
"So the fiend Saotome has enslaved Dera, my barbarian goddess and drags her on his journeys to seek out new and more evil magics. Despite her martial prowess, she can not break free of his enchantments. Oh, the injustice!" Kuno ranted putting his own spin on the story.  
  
Nabiki would have sweatdropped, if she were anyone else. "That's not how I would put it Kuno baby." 'Oh boy. He'd better not use the word barbarian around Deru. That guy has a zero fuse on that term if I read him right. But there's money here.' "I have pictures of her that I can bring you tomorrow. Are you interested?"  
  
"Indeed I am. You may also bring any new pictures of your own sister Akane."  
  
"Hey, I thought you said you would leave her alone." 'Damn, I want to keep selling him pictures but I was willing to give up on them. I can't sell any more without looking like a hypocrite.'  
  
"I may no longer be in her presence, but my love for her only deepens in her absence. If I may not gaze upon her countenance in reality but at least by her image may I remember her."  
  
Nabiki's face took on a thoughtful expression. "Under those circumstances, I believe I can provide them Kuno baby." Internally she grinned. 'Rationalise away. Oh well Akane doesn't need to know.' [People have long speculated that Nabiki Tendo could think her way through a corkscrew without adjusting her mental processes. I think they underestimate her.]  
  
"You said my golden haired goddess doth abide presently at the Tendo dojo in the company of the foul Saotome. At lunch time I shall travel there and free her by destroying the author of her enslavement."  
  
'Uh oh.' "I'm sorry Kuno baby, they were just there for the night. They've probably already left."  
  
"Then cast your nets of knowledge gathering wide. For I will pay handsomely for their whereabouts." He tok a dramatic pose. "I shall find the angel Dera and release her from bondage. For truly I love her!"  
  
In his dream world he does not see the teacher for the next class has already arrived and is waiting to start.  
  
"Kuno, go stand in the hall."  
  
"Yes sensei."  
  
&&&  
  
Some miles away. Deru sneezed and momentarily shivered as a cold chill swept through her body.  
  
"What's up bro? Catching a cold?" asked Ranma as they landed in the yard of the Tendo household. The plastic bag now contained some empty boxes, which had been folded on the way out.  
  
"Saotomes don't catch cold." Deru answered.  
  
Soun and Genma were once again in the front room, playing shogi. They updated Kasumi on the situation, with the pretence that they were helping with the washing, and getting Deru some hot water. In truth, Deru once again stood watch against the fathers eavesdropping. Upon being told of events Kasumi once again smiled 'the Kasumi smile', the one that makes the Mona Lisa look like she's merely saying cheese.  
  
"I am glad to hear that. Akane was unhappy about the situation. Oh that reminds me, Deru, did you talk to your brother yet about last night?"  
  
Deru looked puzzled for a moment, then slapped his forehead. "No! With all that happened today I haven't had chance."  
  
Ranma looked back and forth, puzzled. "What are you two on about?"  
  
Deru looked sheepish. "Ah.well. I was having trouble sleeping so I made a drink. Kasumi was downstairs and we got talking." He took on a more determined expression. "Ranma, I've got to have this out."  
  
'Aw man, this can't be good.' Ranma thought. A dark cloud, fugitive from the earlier storm blocked out the sun for a minute.  
  
Deru glanced aside to Kasumi and continued, "I've got to say I'm sorry about the curse, your curse. The whole mess."  
  
'Huh?' Ranma looked nonplussed. "It's not like it's your fault, bro. If pop hadn't taken us there."  
  
"I should have stopped him. I should have stopped you falling in when I realised what was going on. Instead."  
  
"That's what's been giving you grief? Bro, next time, before you buy tickets for your guilt trip, let someone else in on your destination. Like you could have known those springs were for real? I didn't believe it even when I saw pop turn into a panda. I got knocked off my perch because I forgot a basic rule. Expect it. Whatever it is."  
  
"Even so, I should have been able to make a save." Deru's eyes were firmly on the floor.  
  
"Pop's to blame bro, not you. You did what you could, more than you should. What part of nearly getting yourself killed seemed like a good idea? You in return for no curse is a bad trade."  
  
Deru looked up. "I still feel responsible somehow." But he saw no accusation in those eyes.  
  
"And they say I have a big ego!" Ranma exclaimed, "Welcome to the human race! I mess up, you mess up, pop messes up big time. Give someone else credit for their actions for once. Stop beating yourself up over the weather." a thought struck him. "That's where the cash for those new waterproofs came from. I thought it was odd that pop had sprung for them." He shook his head. "You O.K now? Breast fully beaten? Or do you need to stick a tanto in yourself a couple of times too?" [knife, suitable for sepukku]  
  
Deru smiled at the daft image. "Thanks Ranma. I guess I did go a bit overboard."  
  
"No charge. Let's get on with going home." Ranma headed back into the kitchen.  
  
"May I add something?" Unnoticed while this reconciliation went on, Kasumi now stepped forward, empty washing basket held in both hands.  
  
Both guys turned to face her. "Yes, Kasumi-san?" Deru asked.  
  
"I am glad to see that you have resolved things. But have you considered that you may be looking at your situation too negatively? I believe that Deru last night mentioned making things come out right rather than moping. Could you not consider your unusual ability just that, to be used the same way your martial arts skills are, and any problems it causes as challenges, rather than misfortunes?"  
  
Ranma looked interested. "Hey, I never thought of it like that. A challenge."  
  
Deru looked at Kasumi with an impressed expression. He nodded. "Maybe we should consider the things our new bodies can do, rather than the things they stop us doing. "  
  
Kasumi continued. "I believe so. From what I have heard, so far you have made wise use of your dual nature. I do not think Akane would have been so open if she had not realised you shared experiences in common."  
  
Ranma looked thoughtful, "I guess you're right Kasumi. That'd of been a crying shame. Hey, bro, why didn't you think of this?"  
  
Deru put his hand to his chin, "Maybe I couldn't see the wood for the trees. We're not out of the forest yet though bro. We've still got mum and Ucchan to go."  
  
"Hey with our wits, our skills and our winning personalities." Ranma is upbeat.  
  
"We're doomed.utterly doomed." Deru retorted, but clearly not seriously, since he's grinning. He turned to face Kasumi again. "Thank you, Kasumi- san, for this food for thought."  
  
"That was the other thing I wanted to tell you. I prepared bento boxes for all three of you, as a thank you for your help."  
  
All three want back inside the house.  
  
&&&  
  
Genma looked up as Ranma and Deru entered the main room. "So, if you've finally finished with your womanly work, maybe we can head home." The fact that he was loosing the current match was a possible cause for his disgruntlement, and his wish to leave.  
  
"Hey pop, at least we're helping out around here." Ranma growled.  
  
"Now dad, you wouldn't have wanted us to refuse Kasumi." Deru supplied.  
  
Genma looked thoughtful for a moment. [First time for everything I guess] "Ranma, Kasumi is a nice girl. Have you considered asking her to be your fiancee."  
  
Ranma was about to explode, but for once Soun beat him to the punch. "Now Genma, let's not be too hasty. Possibly someone closer to his own age, Nabiki for example. [Translation: Not the cook!!! Take the mercenary!!!]  
  
Deru sighed. "Dad, Tendo-san, we settled this last night. Any engagement you made is no longer valid. We agreed this with them. You would not ask us to go back on our word of honour."  
  
Soun continued. "That does not exclude any new arrangement between Ranma and one of the girls."  
  
Ranma interrupted, "I'm very sorry Tendo-san, we must go upstairs and pack."  
  
They left, Soun still trying to recapture the thread of his argument. 


	8. Ruby slipper time

The trio, in their rightful shapes, took to the road around midday. Their trip across town was uneventful. The bento boxes, also courtesy of Kasumi, were uniformly delicious. The labyrinthine complexities of the Tokyo Metro rail system and Deru's need to collect some extra food for their arrival home required them to change at Azabu Juban, before carrying on to the Shinjuku district that contained the Saotome residence. So it was with joy in their hearts that they strode through the shopping area between the stations. The two brothers forged ahead, Genma trailling.  
  
"It's great to be home." Ranma said.  
  
"Yeah." 'I hope everything will turn out right once we really get home. Well if they aren't, I will find a way to fix it. No more guilt trips.' They pass a closed cosmetics store, unusual among the bustle of the shopping area. Through the windows the shelves seem to have big holes melted in them.  
  
"Ucchan's not going to be pleased." Deru indicated the store.  
  
"Huh?" Ranma intelligently articulated.  
  
"To set up Ucchans we need a couple of things. A place, and the money."  
  
"Yeah, but I thought her father was giving you the money."  
  
"Not quite enough. Not for a place in Shinjuku or Juban, at least not one that's in a location to make money. Add to that commercial insurance rates around here and we'd have to go to the banks. And no matter how good we are as cooks, or how good a business plan we produce, they're not likely to loan money to a high school graduate and someone still in school, to open a place here. We scouted locations as well and there's really no place that fits. Looks like we're going to have to wait a couple of years and save it, and let Ukyo graduate."  
  
"Man, you've really thought this through." Ranma stated. "But what's that got to do with that store?"  
  
"One of the reasons for the steep rates, and the general sourness of the banks, is all the weird events. Mass hallucinations of monsters, shops and events starting up then vanishing without a trace, leaving loads of debts. I thought the whole thing was over with just before we left for China, but that has all the earmarks."  
  
"Blame it on the Sailor Senshi." Ranma smirked.  
  
"Oh yeah. That writer, Naoko whosit, she's got a lot to answer for. She's turned the whole thing into an industry. Hallucinations, sunspots, terrorists at the theme park, blame it on the senshi. Everyone has a friend of a friend who's seen them. There's even been reporters who've claimed to have met them."  
  
"I guess you're pretty sceptical about the whole thing. But you've gotta admit, something weird is going on."  
  
"I guess, but that doesn't mean I accept the magical girl theory. It's like U.F.O's and crop circles in America. Why have none of the senshi spotters found them? O.K. the names given in the anime are obviously aliases, but at least two of them are supposed to be blond and another one has blue hair, and they all go to the same school. There aren't that many schools in Juban. Have you ever seen a cat with a crescent on it's forehead? Likewise their friends and family. They must read the papers." He gives an expression of exasperation.  
  
"Some people would say curses that make you change gender are pretty unlikely too. And that's not the first time we've gotten involved with magic. So there's supposed to be some kinda disguise magic that stops you from recognising them. If I remember right, the costume changes wouldn't even fool Ryouga." Ranma's clearly baiting Deru.  
  
"It just seems like too neat an explanation. I must admit knowing real magic exists, not just ki effects, make it seem less unlikely. Oh well."  
  
The conversation moved to other topics as they pass an ice cream parlour, where a navy blue haired girl in a school sailor uniform, is buying a pink haired moppet with an pointy odango hairstyle a double ice cream. [Hey guys look over there! Sailor Arrr!]  
  
Ranma suddenly thought of something. "Hey you remember that boarded up place we came across on our way back from Furinkan?"  
  
"Now I come to think of it, yes. Three stories, flat concrete roof, on a corner of two major roadways. That's the sort of place we've been looking for."  
  
"It was that roof that I noticed, just the right size for sparring on."  
  
Deru glanced behind him. Genma had somehow acquired a bag of sweet buns and was oblivious to all else. He lowered his voice. "Oho. Thinking Furinkan needs an okonomiyaki shop? I wonder why?"  
  
Ranma avoided eye contact. "Just thinking. It's not like me or Ucchan are wedded to Mugen Gakuken High. Besides, it would make it easier to train Akane."  
  
Deru grinned. "If girls in sailor costumes saving the world are possible, maybe a restaurant in Nerima is not beyond the bounds of probability. I wonder if Nabiki could find out about it, or Kasumi, she shops around that area."  
  
They passed beyond the shops, to a residential area, and the Saotome household. [Which, for those who haven't read the manga that far, is a modest 1 story place, set in its own garden]  
  
Deru slowed down as they approached the fence.  
  
"Still worried bro? I told ya Ucchan will be cool about the curse thing."  
  
"It's just she should be home by now. I need to prepare myself." Deru straightened up.  
  
Genma caught up. His expression is avuncular, "A martial artist fears nothing. Be always ready to forge ahead." He takes the lead.  
  
"Yeah, bro. It's not like we've got a contract to be guys or else." Ranma joked.  
  
The words reach Genma's ears and trigger a belated, half formed unease. His ego wandered through his mind, kicking aside unused piles of conscience and guilt, until it found a memory, long buried under a stack of training techniques. It read the contents of the memory, and speed dialled the Genma's survival instincts, almost causing a heart attack. The outward effects were visible as Genma freezing, as he made the connection, then tensing up, in preparation to 'running like hell'.  
  
He turned on them. "Ranma, Deru, we should extend our training trip. I believe Okinawa is very nice at this time of year."  
  
"Uh uh pop. We're home. We're going to stay." Ranma continued onwards, only to be blocked by Genma, ready to fight.  
  
'I've got a bad feeling about this.' Ranma gritted his teeth. "O.K. pop, what's this about? Remember, I can tell when you're lying, your lips move."  
  
"Oh dear. Dad, is there something we should know?" Deru is less obviously aggressive.  
  
"Ahh well.Your mother was unhappy about me taking you and Ranma off on so many long training trips. The first time we left I made a contract. I would turn you both into men amongst men. You both signed it."  
  
"What?" "We never signed anything." The two claimed.  
  
"Ah. You were rather young, so rather than explaining it to you I told you it was a going away letter."  
  
Ranma screwed up his brow. "Nope" Deru is still thinking. "I don't.oh yes! I remember that because it was the first time I'd put my name on a proper letter. Ranma just put a hand print on it. Bro, it's no wonder you can't remember."  
  
"I knew it. Things were just going too well." Ranma shook his head. "O.K. we're ready for the worst. From the way your acting, pop, the or else must be pretty bad. What have you done this time?"  
  
"We promised that if I did not train you to become men amongst men, we would commit sepukku."  
  
"YOU DID WHAT?" the brothers chorused as one, Ranma doing a demon head that would make Soun weep with envy. Then he stopped and burst out laughing. "Bwa ha ha ha.Hang on, our mom, agreeing to that? You really had me going there, pop."  
  
Deru isn't laughing. In fact he's in full scary face, serious mode, "That was most unwise, dad, and most unethical."  
  
Ranma looked at him incredulous. "You're not buying in to this are you?"  
  
"Ranma, you know how mum is about honour. She's very traditional in some ways. It might just be that she did take it seriously. Dad seems to think so."  
  
Genma has the grace to look shamefaced. "Truly, I didn't think it would go this far, but your mother took it to heart. She started carrying around the family honour sword so she could act as our second. At first, every time we came home she questioned me most rigorously on your progress. Thankfully you both met her standards. More recently she stopped, so I decided the danger was past."  
  
"Deru? You spent more time at home than me. You never found out about this?" Ranma's still looking as if they've both gone crackers.  
  
"It's not like it's the question came up. I always knew that I could convince mum to let me do just about anything if I could come up with a reason why it was manly, which is why I used it so rarely. I hate manipulating people like that." Deru shrugged. "I never realised why. I just tried to be that way because I thought it would make mum proud. As for the honour sword. well the one time I did ask I got the answer, 'It is my family obligation. You should understand that.' Well I didn't, but I didn't want to seem the stupid gaijin in front of mom so I just nodded. You know how she used to be with that katana."  
  
"Oh yeah. She was a menace. That thing was always slipping out or something. You and Ucchan must have had it worse, but even I nearly got skewered a couple of times, until you two gave her some basic kenjutsu training."  
  
Genma shuddered, a vision of Nokoda standing over them with her katana as the three of them gutted themselves appearing in his head. "Now you understand why we can not go home. If she saw your curses."  
  
"Don't you think it would have been a good idea to inform us earlier?" asked Deru, staring Genma down.  
  
"I thought the danger was past, so I forgot about it." Genma stated, as if this was normal.  
  
"Oh great! Of all the idiotic, clueless moronic clutz-ups you've been responsible for, this has to take the sweet bun." Ranma growled, vein popping up.  
  
"That is in the past." Genma waved it away. "You see now why it is impossible to go home. Instead we should continue to train and wait for the cure."  
  
"No pop." "Not at all." they replied. Deru continued. "We just walk down the street, through the gate and in the front door."  
  
"I'm not going to hide from mom, not after 6 months away. Not even with this curse. It would be cowardly, weak, unmanly." Ranma took some pleasure in throwing back Genma's favourite sayings.  
  
"I also believe in mum to do the right thing. Whatever happens we will face it, not run away. A very wise person once told me that mum would see beyond the surface of our curses. Besides I will not be separated from Ucchan any longer. I don't care what she thinks of the curse. I'll do whatever she wants to make her happy."  
  
Genma took a stance. "If you go you not only doom yourselves, but your poor father. You will have to go through me first."  
  
Ranma gave an evil grin and cracked his knuckles, "Like that's a problem."  
  
Deru is calmer, but no less determined. "Then we will fight."  
  
The two blurred towards him simultaneously. Genma back pedalled and frantically attempted to block every punch and strike, but to no avail. The end came when Deru dropped and did a leg sweep that took his feet out from under him. As if by some signal Ranma jumped high and went for his head and neck with both feet and fists. Genma went down, swirly eyed and bump headed under the combined pummelling of his sons.  
  
Ranma stretched and grinned. "That felt good. Looks like you always have to defeat your father at the end of a quest, just like in Star Wars."  
  
Deru sighed. "Perhaps we have also saved him from himself. I'll carry him, you carry his pack."  
  
A few minutes later the strange procession came to the Saotome gate. Ranma, carrying one pack on his back and one in his arms, Deru shouldering an unconscious Genma in a firemans lift. No sooner did they step through the gate then a stream of cold water hit them. Ranma, protected by instant nanniichuan was unchanged. Deru unprepared, collapsed under the tripled weight of Genma's panda form and her own bodies shifting reflexes. One arm stuck pathetically out from under the form of the panda.  
  
"Sorry about that! Are you. Ranchan!" Ukyo, in a t-shirt and shorts, though carrying her ever present bandolier and battle spatula, dropped the hose with which she'd clearly been watering the garden. She raced up to Ranma and hugged him. Despite the boyish clothes, her chest was unbound by anything except a sports bra, and there was no doubt about her gender. "You're back. I was so worried, we didn't get any letters or anything." Her Kansai accent sounded particularly pronounced in her excitement.  
  
"Whoa Ucchan. We've had problems." Ranma hugged back.  
  
"We? Where's De-chan and uncle Genma. That fiancee of mine had better have a good explanation. they are both alright?" Her tone, annoyed at first, started to take on some real worry.  
  
A groan, from under the panda, caught their attention.  
  
"Well pop's sleeping off a well deserved pounding, and Deru is probably feeling a little flat." Ranma said as he rolled the panda over to reveal a crumpled Deru who peeled himself off the ground. "Ohhh. Remind me not to do that again." She looked up into Ukyo's face. "Ucchan, love, I guess I have some explaining to do."  
  
Ukyo looked puzzled. "Who are you? And how do you know me?"  
  
Deru's face fell. 'She doesn't even recognise me. What if. No. I promised myself no secrets.' He opened his mouth to speak.  
  
Ranma grinned. "I think you need a change, bro." He pulled a canteen from his backpack and poured some on the distressed blond. Deru's male form filled out his clothes. He looked down then up at Ucchan, looking for her reaction. "Well I had hoped to explain first."  
  
He thought the worst. Ukyo's face was a study in shock. "Dee-chan. That's you? That is so." As she paused to catch her breath, Deru filled in the next word in his head '.freakish, disgusting, embarrassing.' ".cool!"  
  
Deru hit the floor in a massive facefault and Ranma joined him.  
  
Ukyo hauled him up and dusted him off. "How did you do that? And what's with the long face De-light, aren't you pleased to see me?" She grabbed both sides of his head with her hands and planted a kiss right on his lips.  
  
Deru was still a little dazed, but started to put his arms around her and return the kiss.  
  
Ranma flipped up into a standing position. "Put Deru down, You don't know where he's been."  
  
Ukyo and Deru took no notice. Eventually they broke, reluctantly and Ukyo turned on Ranma.  
  
"O.K Ranchan, you explain. Where has he been, and you for that matter?"  
  
Ranma grinned. "Let's get inside and we'll explain." He looked down at his drenched clothes. "After we dry off."  
  
&&&  
  
A table, some lemonade, some kneeling figures and an explanation later.  
  
"Now that is a bizarre story, even by your standards." Ukyo exclaimed  
  
"Blame it on the old panda." Ranma said contemptuously.  
  
"Uncle Genma? Hmm. It kind of suits him."  
  
Ranma smirked. "Now you come to mention it."  
  
Deru is holding Ukyo's hand, across the corner of the table, clearly unwilling to let go. "Ucchan, love, You don't feel any different about me, now you know?"  
  
She gave his hand a squeeze. "Dee-chan, you really are a total idiot. But you're my idiot. I fell in love with Deru Saotome. Nothing that's happened has changed that. The only thing I'm annoyed about is that I've now got a fiancee who's sometimes prettier than I am."  
  
"No.Never. Ucchan, you are the moon, the stars, and lots of other heavenly bodies. You are a heavenly body." Deru smiled. "You are the most beautiful girl in the world." A microphone has appeared in his hand and the background is tending towards hearts and little puffy clouds.  
  
Ukyo coloured slightly, then grinned back. "You say the sweetest things. I knew there was some reason I keep you around."  
  
Ranma watched the eternal love story, slightly smug. 'They won't figure out who borrowed Ucchans diary and left it out. That Umi-ken-sen info really came in handy. Who would have thought mum would be using it for note paper? Let's hope we can sort the rest out that easily.' He gathered his thoughts. "When you two have quite finished, we have other problems." Ranma interrupted the pair. Deru stopped gazing into Ukyo's eyes. "You're right, of course, we've got to be ready for mum."  
  
Ranma was not looking happy. "Explaining our curses is not going to be easy."  
  
Ukyo looked puzzled. "But if you have this curse too, why didn't you change?"  
  
"We've got some packets of a one shot version of the opposite curse. But a dose only works once, and we've got a limited number of 'em." He laid out the canteen. "This has enough for Deru and pop."  
  
"Can I see what you look like?" Ukyo pleaded.  
  
Ranma paused, "I don't like to, but, I guess we have to show mum so." He picked up the jug of hot water that Deru had brought in and poured some into one hand.  
  
"Huh. No change?" Ukyo questioned.  
  
"I just removed the counter curse. Now." He dipped his finger in his lemonade. Instant red head.  
  
"Neat! Oh my, Ranchan, you are so cute! De-chan, lets see you together."  
  
Deru sighed, but used the hot water and cold lemonade to change.  
  
"I was right, you make a very attractive girl. If that's your idea of a curse." she reached out and touched Deru's hair. Deru doesn't look too happy about this assessment.  
  
She turned her scrutiny to Ranma's red mop. "Natural. Lots of girls would kill for that colour. How come it's different to your normal one?"  
  
"Dunno. The guide was surprised too. Normally the hair's the same colour."  
  
Deru interjects. "Could be something genetic, a gender linked recessive, or it could just be the magic doing weird stuff. Ucchan, could we change back now?"  
  
"Sure, De-chan, I was just curious." Deru changed again. "That's amazing, no matter how often I see it."  
  
"Trust me Ucchan, it's not fun. We have to learn to live with it for the moment, but we don't intend to keep it. I'm glad it doesn't freak you out, but. I reckoned you might react the way you did with Kurenai."  
  
Ukyo's face darkened. "You never need compare yourself to that whiney little pervert, Tsubasa."  
  
Ranma looked back and forth between the two.. "Am I missing something?"  
  
Deru shrugged. "It's Ucchan's story. You were still away when it happened."  
  
Ranma looked to Ukyo. "Want to talk about it?"  
  
Ukyo's face had turned to thunder. "Not really, the less I have to even think about that obsessive twit." she gained control of herself. "There's not really that much to tell. Tsubasa was in the same middle school class as me in Kyoto. He was a twisty little cross dresser who had a major crush on me, but I wanted nothing to do with him. He made a very convincing girl. Fortunately I left him back there."  
  
Deru turned back to Ukyo. "As I said, I kept thinking of how I looked like him, in my girl form. I didn't want to bring back bad memories."  
  
"Please, I'm not that shallow, sugar. Besides you look a lot different. It wasn't his costume or looks that put me off him, it was the way he acted. Besides I already had someone, and you haven't changed a bit, curse or no curse."  
  
Ranma hung his head. "It comes back to that. Even without some of the other things dad's done that made it 5 times worse."  
  
Ukyo looked resigned. "What's uncle Genma done this time?"  
  
"It seems mum didn't want us to go on long training trips with the old panda. Somehow he convinced mum to accept a pledge that if we did not turn into manly men, all three of us would commit sepukku. Of course he never thought to tell us this. According to him, mum takes it seriously, dead seriously."  
  
Ukyo pulled a spatula from her bandoleer and starts twisting it into a corkscrew. "That. that. I have a sudden urge to make panda okonomiyaki."  
  
Ranma replied. "We already 'explained' that we were unhappy." He hit his fist in his palm to show exactly how the explanation had been applied.  
  
Ukyo looked downcast. "Ranchan, De-chan, I'm so sorry. You had this hanging over you and all this time I've been acting like it's a new toy."  
  
Ranma countered, "Don't worry Ucchan. This sort of thing is unusual, even for Juban."  
  
Deru stated, "We could have run, but we decided this morning we could do one of two things. Let this thing rule our lives, or deal with it, as a challenge."  
  
Ranma grinned weakly. "And have you ever known us to turn down a challenge? We will deal with this pledge in the only way we can. By facing mum and finding out the truth. Pop may want to hide, but we won't. It wouldn't be. manly." His grin turned wry at his own words. "Speaking of challenges I've been thinking."  
  
"Now that is a challenge!" Deru said automatically.  
  
"My brother the comic! But that's a weapon we can use. Humour. Rather than making a big deal of this we just laugh it off."  
  
"That could work. But first we've got to sort this pledge out. That we have to take seriously." Deru looked the part. "We've got two points to go through. One, did mom really mean it. Remember we only have dad's word, and he does tend to be. somewhat economical with the truth. If she does, we have to convince her that the curse does not constitute breaking the pledge. I've got several arguments, but I'm not sure which will clinch it. It depends on mums definition of manly."  
  
"I still want a piece of uncle, if auntie Nodoka leaves anything." Ukyo's hand spatula is now a pretzel.  
  
"Better turn him human then. After all there are laws about cruelty to animals." Ranma proffered the canteen with the nanniichuan water by it's strap.  
  
Deru was the only one who saw the inevitable coming. "Hey Ranma, be careful with that canteen."  
  
The narrative laws of the Ranmaverse took over at this point. The plastic canteen had taken a considerable beating during the battle with Kuno, especially the strap, which had been under Kuno's last back strike. The weakened strap now finally gave up, tipping the canteen and dumping a quantity of the cursed water into Ukyo's lap.  
  
"Whoops! That." Ukyo's voice stopped as he noticed his, now slightly deeper, tones. His hand went to his chest, which had significantly sunk. The other changes were less noticeable. His features had taken on a slightly more masculine cast, but were still definitely bishonnen. Unlike Ranma and Deru, his height and build stayed the same.  
  
"Ucchan, I'm sorry! " Ranma panicked. He grabbed for the kettle at the same time as Deru, knocking it flying out of the window. The lemonade tumbled too, splashing their outstretched hands. "Gah!" "Bother!"  
  
Ukyo stood up and winced, clutching himself. "Yow!"  
  
Deru practically teleported to his side. "Just sit down and relax. Ranma'll get some hot water." Ukyo complied. "It's O.K De-chan, just. weird. Dad would just love this. He's finally got a boy. I'm afraid I got." he blushed crimson.  
  
"No need to explain. You're not used to." she frantically searched for safe words, ".external plumbing?"  
  
Ukyo was shifting around to try and find a comfortable position. "Neither is my underwear." He actually managed to smile as he said it.  
  
Deru put her arm around Ukyo's shoulder, unmindful of anything but comforting him. "Don't worry, Ucchan, it's only temporary."  
  
"But I see what you mean, De-chan. Just because I had to act the boy, for my fathers sake, doesn't mean I wanted to be one. I won't say it isn't interesting, but I don't want to make a habit of it." He moved uncomfortably, but didn't move out of Deru's grip. Indeed he put his arm around her.  
  
Ranma came back in with some towels. "Don't worry, kettle's on." She stopped to look at them, smirking, "As someone once said, a perfect couple. Come on lovebirds, towels, mess, clean."  
  
Deru red eyed him, but both of them went to work, mopping up the spills.  
  
"Come on bro. What's up, getting in touch with your feminine side." Ranma asked Deru.  
  
Deru grinned. "I think Ucchan was getting in touch with my feminine side. Not that unpleasant actually."  
  
Ukyo glowered playfully. "You just wait. Not that unpleasant."  
  
Deru played up to this. "Wah, my bishonnen fiancee is being mean to me! You know, you're cute when your angry. well you're cute all the time."  
  
"What can I say. It's a gift." Ukyo said, mock importantly.  
  
"I hope you kept the receipt." Ranma returned.  
  
Ukyo groaned. "Now I know why two women under one roof spells trouble. Especially when I'm not one of them." [Kanji joke. That's the symbol for trouble.]  
  
"Easily rectified when the kettle's hot." Deru stated. "It's amazing your male form looks so similar to your normal one."  
  
"Gee thanks, I think."  
  
"I don't mean it that way. I see what you meant. All I can see is Ucchan, the person I fell in love with."  
  
Ucchan's face lit up.  
  
Ranma looked to the kitchen door. "I wish it'd hurry, if mum came in now."  
  
'Oh no.' Deru thought.  
  
"Don't worry, auntie Nodoka won't be back from work for another hour." Ukyo replied.  
  
"You had to say it.Ucchan." Deru winced, knowing what would happen next.  
  
At that moment the front door opened. "I'm home!" came Nodoka's voice.  
  
The three froze. 


	9. Avoiding a short cut

In walked Nodoka, dressed in her trademark yakuta, cloth wrapped bundle under one arm.  
  
"Ukyo dear, did you know there's a panda on our front lawn? Oh, you have guests."  
  
Ukyo unfroze first. "Welcome home auntie." His voice got rougher as he spoke, trying to hide the change in pitch.  
  
Deru gave Ranma a meaningful look and said. "Come with me and we'll sort out some tea." They headed off with all possible speed.  
  
Nodoka looked after them. "Ukyo dear, are they friends of yours from school? You should be in there yourself. It's not ladylike to let guests do the work, even if you're starting a cold."  
  
Ukyo nodded, partly to avoid having to lie, and partly because he didn't want to trust his deeper voice again.  
  
He raced into the kitchen, to be handed a jug of warm water. Ukyo changed back as she'd seen the others do. Ranma and Deru were already in male form.  
  
Her first words were. "She didn't notice! I can't believe it!"  
  
Ranma gave a sigh of relief. "Be thankful. Mom didn't recognise us either." Ukyo did not seem pleased with this statement.  
  
Deru quickly said, "Just take it that you look beautiful in either form. Besides, what would you expect her to think she's seeing?"  
  
Ranma looked around at them. "O.K what do we do?"  
  
Deru lowers his head. "We take the tea in and explain. Ranma, do you trust me to do this? We faced death many times during our training, this is just another test."  
  
"Go for it bro. This is your kind of fight. The Saotome brothers don't loose."  
  
Ukyo intervened. "I'm here too. If you think I'm going to risk you or De- chan getting hurt because of this ridiculous pledge, you've got another think coming!"  
  
Deru looked into her eyes gratefully. "It won't come to that. But if you can stand ready to disarm mum if. something goes wrong. I know I wouldn't be able to."  
  
Ranma nodded in agreement. "Not if our lives depended on it." He winced as he realised his words. "Make it good bro."  
  
The three entered, Ukyo carrying a tea tray.  
  
Nodoka jumped up. "Ranma.Deru. You're both home!" She engulfed them in a hug, ignoring them both stiffening for a second before relaxing into it, or Ranma's "Aw mum."  
  
She stepped back. "Let me look at you. You've both grown. Your father has raised some fine, manly sons."  
  
Deru spotted an opening. "Mum, I've got to ask, what exactly is your definition of a 'manly' man."(1)  
  
Nodoka looked surprised. "But you should know. Your father and I have surely taught you well."  
  
"Call it seeking reassurance that we live up to the standards you set."  
  
"Very well. A manly man is courageous and honourable, ready to fight and die for what he believes in." she warms to her subject. "He should take a healthy interest in women, and have that interest returned."  
  
Ukyo jumped in at this point, taking Deru's arm, and Ranma's, one each side.  
  
"Auntie Nodoka, you need have no worries on that score. Deru and me, we're like that." She put two fingers together. "And Ranma, well there are still girls at Mugen who come up to me and ask when that handsome pigtailed guy is coming back. I'm willing to defend them with my life, just like they would me." She looked meaningfully at the bundle which sat where Nodoka had been kneeling.  
  
"When will you and Deru sleep together?" Nodoka inquired, as if asking about the weather. [Yes she would ask that sort of question. This woman thinks multiple fiancees are a sign of virility.]  
  
A mass facefault occurred.  
  
Ukyo blushed a dead crimson. "Well. ah.we've cuddled on occasion..."  
  
It's Deru who recovered the conversation. "Not yet mum. I'm not going to risk Ucchan having a baby. Not while she's still at high school. I know how much you want grand kids but it's a matter of. propriety. Our children will have the best life we can arrange. That means being able to support ourselves. That means Ucchans being a going concern, at minimum."  
  
"What about you Ranma. Surely you've met some nice girls on your training trip."  
  
It's Ranma's turn to blush. "Well yes. I've met some girls."  
  
"What about those two pretty young ladies who were here earlier?"  
  
Deru started over Ranma's stumbled words. He continues, "They came back with us from China. But there's a complex story attached, and first we have to find out something. Less than an hour ago, our dad told us of a pledge, made many years ago, about us commiting sepukku."  
  
Nodoka looked puzzled. "What about it? Surely you've always known about it?"  
  
Ranma and Deru both shook their heads. Deru replied. "No mum, we never heard a word about it. Could we see this thing?"  
  
Nodoka brought a flat folded piece of parchment out of her yukata. "But you both signed it. Your father must have explained it to you long ago."  
  
The letter lay on the table, the barely legible kanji spelling out. 'I will train my sons, Ranma and Deru to become men among men. We face sepukku if we fail.' and below it, Genma's sloppy signature, the two neat hirigana of Deru's name and a several child's ink hand prints.  
  
Ranma slumped. "It's true then. All this time we've had a death sentence hanging over us and we didn't know it. Mom, how could you agree something like this? Are we worth that little to you?" He was clearly running off at the mouth, speaking before thinking.  
  
Nodoka looked shocked. "You are the most important things in my life. But Saotome men, and women must hold to the highest standards. That's why this was so critical to me. I wouldn't let your father take you away, but he insisted that for you to truly become men you had to go and was willing to put his life on the line to prove it. It was the act of a truly noble martial artist. After such a commitment I had no choice."  
  
Deru asked, "Our lives too? We got a different story. Dad told me it was a going away letter. I remember clearly because I was so proud to be able to write my name on a real letter. I don't think Ranma even knew that much."  
  
Nodoka looked uncertain. "Your fathers word binds you as well. Besides you must have read it."  
  
Deru sighed. "I can barely read it now. Dad's penmanship is less than perfect. I couldn't have been more than 6 or 7. I was probably still learning the phonetic alphabets. I certainly wouldn't have known most of these kanji. And I know dad never explained it."  
  
"I'm sure your father must have had his reasons. But you've succeeded, and without even knowing of it."  
  
"Mum. Did you really believe you needed to bludgeon us into working that hard? I thought you knew us better."  
  
Ranma piped up. "It's true. Everything we've done, all the training we've been through was because we wanted you to be proud of us. Not because of some moth eaten contract."  
  
Nodoka teared up. "I am proud, of both of you. Even if you haven't yet got a wife, I'm sure there are plenty of fine young ladies for you to choose from. How about those two I saw earlier, you never did explain about them, or where your father got to?"  
  
'The hard bit. She's not going to cancel that contract. She believes she did the right thing.' Deru thought. "It's a complicated story. There was a training accident while we were in China. Our dad refused to come with us to explain because he believed that some of the effects of the accident called our manhood into question. Indeed that was the only reason he told us at all. He is currently. reconsidering his position."  
  
Ukyo muttered in English. Both the brothers successfully stifled laughs.  
  
Nodoka's face turned from a proud beam to a more serious frown. "What happened?"  
  
"First you've got to understand some things. First there is a cure for the effects. Unfortunately we may have to wait a year to obtain it. Secondly, we disagree with dad. Our accident hasn't changed our attitude or beliefs. We are still the same people, whether or not the effects of our accident are active. We both consider dad's assessment to be rather hasty and somewhat superficial." He looked sideways at Ranma. Ranma nodded and headed for the kitchen.  
  
"In China, at the final training ground we visited, there were pools that cursed you with an alternate form. Cold water activates the curse, hot water reverses it. We could have been turned into anything, pigs, ducks, cats, even pandas." Ranma entered with hot and cold water. Ukyo stepped into a position where she could block any hostile moves by Nodoka. ". however fate had other plans for us. We fell in." Deru stuck his hand in the cold water jug. ". Nyannichuaan, the spring of the drowned girl."  
  
Nodoka watched open mouthed as the change took place.  
  
"I got the same curse mom." Ranma dipped his hand in, turning red headed.  
  
"Only because you jumped in to save my life." Deru quickly said.  
  
"Because you fell in saving me." Ranma returned.  
  
Nodoka is still sitting there in shock.  
  
Ranma looked directly at her, pleading. "Mom.please don't do anything hasty. I know it looks bad but we're still your sons. Please tell us you aren't angry." He used the hot water to shift back. "It's that easily fixed." He then turned girl with the cold. "But this curse. it's part of us."  
  
Nodoka finally spoke. "You both turn into girls?"  
  
Deru nodded then stopped himself. "No. Our bodies take on the form we would have had if we had been born female."  
  
"Did you know this, Ukyo dear?" she asked in a more normal tone.  
  
"I did. They told me as soon as they arrived. It doesn't make any difference. They are still my closest friend and my future husband." She squeezed the hands of both in turn, in a gesture of support. However her free arm was tense, ready to draw her spatula. "I always considered you to be the mother I never had. You taught me so much. But now I don't know what to think."  
  
Deru squeezed her arm gently. "No need to say anything."  
  
Ukyo shook her head. "This needs saying Deru. You've had to pussyfoot around it because you feel obligated by that ludicrous piece of paper. I can't and still consider myself worth anything. Auntie, despite the fact that they were tricked into signing it and deceived about it, they still feel bound by it. Because you held to it rather then admitting that both you and uncle Genma must have been temporarily insane to arrange it, they've gone the whole route to convince you they have not failed you."  
  
Nodoka clouded up, but Ukyo pounded on, not willing to let her say something she'd regret.  
  
"They could have run, they could have stayed away until they found a cure, no matter how long it took. That's what their father" the word was spoken with disgust, "told them to do. But no, they came here. Revealed everything. Because they love us and they would not have us hurt. If that's unmanly, I'm a bad cook. If you want to harm them you'll have to go through me. And you know why I'm defending them? Because, despite everything, neither of them will raise a hand against you, even to save their lives. That's how lucky you are." She almost shouted this last sentence.  
  
"Ucchan." Deru said, in a voice that somehow mixed sadness and affection. "There is no need to fight about this. I know mum will make the right choice."  
  
"I believe in mum too, Ucchan, just as I believed you wouldn't reject us." said Ranma.  
  
Nodoka held up her hand. Her expression had calmed. "I've seen enough. Ranma, Deru, your actions are manly, showing both compassion and honour. It's quite clear your father wrought better than he knew. He has clearly fulfilled the terms of the contract." There were clear tears in her eyes. She picked the piece of paper up and tore it in two. (2)  
  
"Yes!" said Ranma as she punched the air, while Ukyo and Deru hugged each other briefly. Then they stopped for a second while Deru used some hot water.  
  
"Ukyo-san." Ukyo turned back to Nodoka, a slight expression of worry on her face. "It was not very ladylike, the way you just acted just then. It was however the right thing to do."  
  
Ukyo smiled, relieved, "You taught me that yourself. I am a martial artist and the wife of one, as was my mother before me." she inclined her head to indicate Nodoka. "That means we sometimes have to fight to protect those we love."  
  
&&&  
  
A short time later Genma Saotome woke, and really wished he hadn't. His now panda sized body still ached with panda sized contusions inflicted by his two sons. It was early evening, and the garden was already in shadow. He pushed himself up and looked around. 'Oh no! Our house!' Thoughts of Nodoka and her katana entered his mind. 'My idiot sons must have come home and are going to tell everything. Maybe I can get them out of there before Nodoka gets home.' A familiar figure crossed behind a lighted kitchen window. 'Too late! I must find out what has happened.'  
  
He stealthily crept towards the house, tripping over a half overturned kettle before he'd gone three steps. [Well, just how stealthy can a panda be?] A cursory glance showed it had enough hot water to return him to normal. Rather than use it immediately, he crept up to the window to hear two female voices, those of his wife and Ukyo as they prepared a meal, from the sounds they were making. The conversation was obscured and even it's tone was unclear but a few fragments did come to his furry ears.  
  
Nodoka: ".cut the heads off." Ukyo: ".wish there had been another way." Nodoka: ".matter of honour." Ukyo: ".never want.husband like that." Nodka: ".stood by him.did what honour demanded." Ukyo: ".Uncle Genma acted. jackass. dishonour." Nodoka: ".my husband. curse ." Ukyo: ".you remember the panda you saw. cursed form." Nodoka: ".please fetch him, Ukyo dear. I want to have words with him about his conduct." A sharp steely noise was audible. Ukyo, in a tone of anger clearly audible even above the kitchen sounds: ". agree . should pay for what he's done."  
  
Needless to say at this point Genma stopped listening and started running. A panicked panda proceeded post haste to the portal [ok gate, but I had a good alliteration going there.] 'Oh my kami Oh my kami. They actually went and did it, and Nodoka made them. She's gone mad, and Ukyo too. I always thought that cross dresser was weird." He picked up the kettle as he passed and changed, his clothes reappearing as his body shrunk into them. 'Can't even hide as a panda. They know! Must find safe place. I know. Soun, my old buddy. He'll help.' The sturdy figure raced through the darkening streets towards Nerima and the Tendo house.  
  
Of course, the real conversation was far more innocent.  
  
Ukyo was chopping carrots as Nodoka busied herself with other parts of the meal. "Ukyo dear, remember to cut the heads off first."  
  
"Don't worry auntie, I'm not that distracted. I'm sorry I said the things I did, I wish there had been another way."  
  
"I understand dear, it was a matter of honour. I never wanted to uphold that contract but I had no choice. If it gives you any comfort, I would never have considered them unmanly for having that curse forced upon them."  
  
"I never want to have to choose between you and my husband like that again." Ukyo barely held back tears.  
  
Nodoka hugged the girl. "You stood by him and Ranma and did what honour demanded. I don't blame you, I'm just glad my sons inspire that kind of loyalty."  
  
"The way uncle Genma acted in not standing by them. That. jackass! He had them both convinced that their female forms were a great dishonour."  
  
Nodoka frowned. "I am afraid my husband has been somewhat foolish about this curse. Do you know where he is?  
  
Ukyo smirked. "You remember that panda you saw outside? Genma didn't escape that place untouched. That is his cursed form, and personally I think it suits him."  
  
"As a punishment for his actions? Maybe. However he still needs to explain himself. Please fetch him, Ukyo dear. I want to have words with him about his conduct. After dinner though." She put away the knife she was using in it's self sharpening holder, making the steely noise that so disquieted the eavesdropper.  
  
Ukyo's momentary amusement faded. In an angry tone she said. "I don't agree that he's been punished enough auntie. He should pay for what he's done."  
  
She picked up the battle spatula hung over the worktop and slotted it into a holster on her back in a single easy motion. Then she stalked off towards the kitchen door.  
  
Ranma popped his head in from the hall. "Mom, we've finished unpacking. How is dinner coming along?" He inhaled the cooking aromas deeply. "It smells wonderful!"  
  
Nodoka coloured. "Thank you dear. It will be ready in a few minutes. Ukyo has just gone out to fetch your father."  
  
At that moment Ukyo raced into the kitchen and said. "He's gone!"  
  
1) Nokoda's definition of manly. As I understand it in cannon this is closer to being Happousai than anything else (i.e. girl obsessed pervert machine) on the principle that she wants grandchildren, lots of them, and would have no problem with him having 4 wives. However this maybe stems from the fact that she had no contact with Ranma for 10 years and is over compensating. So hopefully my version is valid.  
  
2) Nodoka's decision on their manliness. She would have carried out the contract if she truly felt Ranma was not manly. However Nodoka judges Ranma on his actions, not his outward form. At one point Ranma in male form meets with his mother, but due to a whacked out set of circumstances he's in a Project Ako style fuku. She decided her son is not manly and brings out the sepukku robes. In the end when she finds out about the curse she judges him manly on the fact he acted that way even when he was a girl. Side note. No- one ever mentions in fan-fics that Nodoka was going to kill herself after performing the actions as second in their suicide. 


	10. The panda strikes back

Dinner began without Genma at the Saotome household. The meal was delicious, and interspersed with anecdotes about the training trip and the events that had occurred back in Shinjuku. Nodoka was shocked to find out the full story of Jyusenkyo. Finally the conversation came round to the stay at the Tendo's house, Deru and Ranma having agreed it would be better for them to explain than allow their father to do it.  
  
"You mean there's another school of Anything Goes?" Ukyo said. "Are they any good?"  
  
Ranma handled this one. "The youngest one is the heir. She's not up at our level, but better than she should be, considering her father hasn't trained her for ages. Plus she's got this major temper problem. Unless she fixes it she's going nowhere."  
  
"But why did you stop there anyway when you were so close to home?" Ukyo asked.  
  
Deru sighed. He'd been considering how to put this. "It seems father had more than one secret he sprung on us at the last minute. He wanted to marry Ranma off to one of them. From what he said mom, you knew nothing of it?"  
  
"I did not. So who is the lucky girl, and why didn't you bring her to meet me?"  
  
Deru shook his head. "There wasn't one. We had to decline."  
  
"No. refusing a marriage proposal is not very manly." Nokoda's voice was stern.  
  
"It wasn't quite like that. Their father was expecting to engage one of them to Ranma on the spot, and marry him off the next day. I couldn't ask you how to resolve this so I had to act in the way I though best to maintain the family honour and the harmony of both households. You had not been consulted, there had been no omiai, not even a written document. It was based purely on a verbal promise made while our fathers were out drinking. Their father hadn't told them either. I judged you would not consider it valid on such a basis."  
  
Nodoka looked thoughtful.  
  
Ranma added, "Besides, I start High School this year. You wanted me to stay home and do it properly and you were right. To be a sensei I gotta have more than just the Art down, I need the paper from college too. Getting married would make that almost impossible. No one is going to study under someone my age who didn't even graduate High School. Like Deru said earlier, when I marry and bring up heirs to the school, they're going to have the best life possible."  
  
Deru nodded, seeing the softening in Nodoka's position. "Plus there were the reactions of the three girls to consider. The eldest is three years older than Ranma and clearly was not interested in a younger man. The middle one is looking to be a business woman, and would not go along with an arranged marriage. As for the youngest."  
  
Ukyo interjected. "The martial artist. Let me guess, she blew up like Mt Fuji on a bad day!"  
  
The brothers nodded. Ranma went on. "I could kinda see her point. Her father told me to pick one of them like they were okonomiyaki toppings. She's actually not that bad, she just had a big problem with being pushed into an engagement with someone she never met."  
  
Nodoka considered it. "If they were not willing to accept the engagement, they might not be the sort of girl I'd approve of anyway."  
  
Deru though about what this might do to the chances of setting up Ucchans and Ranma training Akane. "They're good people, and we parted as friends. It's just they aren't interested in the engagement. It's not like Ranma needs any more to deal with at the moment."  
  
Ranma added his own piece. "That's right. I'd like to get this curse sorted out before I go do anything permanent. Please mom, keep dad off my back if he starts on about this engagement. At the moment I need allies, not fiancees. It should only be one year before I become a guy full time, and it's not like high school is going to be dangerous, compared to the training we've been through."  
  
Nokoda saw the determination in her younger son's eyes, mixed with the belief that she'd support him. "Very well, we shall say no more about it, for now."  
  
The Saotome brothers both heaved a sigh of relief.  
  
&&&  
  
Soun Tendo sat out on the porch, smoking a pipe, enjoying a bowl of warm sake and pondering the mysteries of life. well one particular mystery, namely how the engagement plans he and Genma had worked out had all fallen to pieces. His attempts to raise the matter with his daughters had been met with polite stonewalling from Kasumi, sarcasm from Nabiki, and anger from Akane.  
  
Suddenly a dust cloud shot through the compound entrance, resolving itself into Genma Saotome, looking panicked. The last time he'd looked that fearful was when Happosai had been around. "Soun, my old friend, you have to hide me! Nodoka's gone insane! The boys." He was babbling.  
  
"Genma, what is wrong?" He offered Genma the sake bottle and a cup to steady himself. Genma proceeded to unsteady himself by taking most of the bottle at one pull. Soun half carried his distraught friend inside. Genma slumped down in the family room and proceeded to spill his guts about how he'd barely avoided doing it for real. He started with a more or less true description of the contract with his wife, but passed over in the finest political tradition whose idea it had been.  
  
He then went on to describe a scene, related to the truth only by implication. From a mix of overheard scraps of dialogue, alcohol and the reaction on his imagination from having his skull pounded on by two expert martial artists, he described how his foolish children would not listen to his pleas for a further journey, and had cruelly set about him. How Nodoka had, with Ukyo's help held them to the letter of the contract despite his efforts to stop her, which failed due to his injuries. He then described the horror as they'd meekly gone to their deaths, and how a last minute burst of strength caused by the gory sight had allowed him to escape the same fate. "You can hide me Soun, Nodoka doesn't know where the Tendo dojo is. For all we suffered under the master. save me!" He demonstrated a perfect 'Crouch of the Wild Tiger'.  
  
There was a noise from the interior doorway, a muffled sob. Standing there were the three sisters Tendo, Akane and Nabiki with looks of shock on their faces and Kasumi sobbing into her hands. "It's my fault!" she sniffled. Both her sisters and her father immediately rushed to comfort her.  
  
Nabiki was the first to come out of her shell shock and hugged her sister. "It wasn't. They were going home anyway. You couldn't have stopped them. If it's anyone's fault, it's the petrified panda over there." She gave a venomous look at the balding martial artist. (1)  
  
Kasumi was in a most atypical state of distress. "But they were worried about what their mother would say! I told them it would work out, to treat their curses as a challenge. If they hadn't followed my advice they still be. alive." This set off a fresh set of weeping. Soun, if anything was outdoing Kasumi in the waterworks department. "No. The engagement. all my plans."  
  
Akane was fuming and putting out a battle aura. "Dad! How can you think like that! As for you Saotome-'san'," she gave the suffix an edge that could cut diamond, "If anyone ever deserved what's coming to them it's you!" This wasn't just 'haul off and punch someone' level anger, she was showing a battle aura sufficient to light half of Nerima. "You make this contract. You let them walk right into it. and your only concern is saving your own hide." She appeared ready and capable of tearing the unfortunate martial artist limb from limb.  
  
"Hold up sis." Nabiki interrupted. "Maybe we're taking this too much at face value. Considering this guy's past actions, if he told me the sun was coming up in the East tomorrow, I'd check with the local observatory." She hugged the still crying Kasumi and went into the hall to use the phone, dialling a number Deru had given her.  
  
"Moshi moshi? Saotome residence." For someone whose head had supposedly parted company with their body, Deru sounded remarkably well.  
  
"Deru-san? Are you and Ranma okay?" Nabiki kept her voice from wavering.  
  
"We're fine now. We just had dinner as a matter of fact. We did have a bit of trouble earlier, but thankfully mom and Ucchan understand now. Do you know where dad is?"  
  
"Wait a second." she turned to the other girls. "Ranma and Deru are fine. I don't know what happened, but they're at their home and everything seems to be alright." Akane and Kasumi both cooled down slowly from their respective states, Akane just in time to trip the racing Saotome parent who was heading towards the phone. Nabiki got on the phone again. "Your dad is here, with some wild story. Is it true about you having some sort of a contract?"  
  
Deru sketched out the basic details of what had happened. Genma was cowering in the corner, having been too late to prevent the revealing of his location. Deru finished with, "Well it's too late to do anything tonight. We'll come over and pick him up tomorrow, if you don't mind him staying."  
  
"Very well Deru-san, as a favour to you." She looked over at the quivering panda, who'd clearly found some cold water.  
  
"Ah. That reminds me. I hate to impose further, but there's this abandoned shop on the corner near your school.since you know the area, I was wondering if you could find out about it."  
  
&&&  
  
A certain part time panda spent the night in the Tendo Dojo, rather than the guest room. His less than triumphal return to the Saotome house got him a series of spatula induced lumps under the guise of training, and a diet of boiled rice and bamboo shoots from his beloved wife. His own attempts to re-instate the engagement got him nowhere, indeed they backfired. Nodoka was not happy that he'd tried to push through such an important decision in Ranma's life without consulting her, and insisted that now was not the time.  
  
A few days passed. A certain amount of leg work on the part of Nabiki Tendo found the lease holder of a particular building, and so informed Deru and Ukyo. It was found that a certain idiot panda had been so certain about his ability to push through an engagement that Ranma had been transferred from Mugen to Furinkan High school. Until the red tape could be sorted out, Ranma was doing his studying at home, using Ukyo's school books, and getting ahead of the game. As with martial arts once he became interested in a subject his learning curve was steep.  
  
He hadn't forgotten his promise to Akane, though his contacts with her had been minimal, to avoid the fathers finding out. He did give her a few ideas, exercises that could be described over the phone, to work on bringing out her ki in a controlled manner, but he knew that they'd have to work face to face to make any real improvement. It was this, plus the need for Deru and Ukyo to discuss things with Nabiki that lead to a meeting that weekend.  
  
Which lead to the two youngest Tendo sisters leaving their domicile on a Sunday, heading for a park on the western edge of Nerima. Akane left first, wearing a large backpack and a gi. Nabiki got up later and joined her sister at the park having availed herself of Tokyo's fine public transportation system. She carried a packed lunch made by Kasumi.  
  
She found her sister at the entrance. "Hi sis!" She looked at the backpack. "You _walked_ here carrying all that?"  
  
"Actually I jogged. Ranma suggested it as a good warm up. It's only 100 kilos, mostly training supplies. I'd have added more but he said to take it easy the first few sessions. Plus I brought them something special. I made some cookies."  
  
Nabiki used every iota of her ice queen demeanor to avoid blanching, and made sure of the nearest phone booth for when she had to summon the ambulance. She covered herself by checking the time. "Shouldn't they be here by now?"  
  
As if on cue, the Shinjuku wrecking crew made an appearance, carrying packs even bigger than Akane's. All of them were wearing sleeveless tops and 'kung-fu' pants. The fact that they were wandering along the top of the park wall was no longer a surprise to either of the girls.  
  
"Yo Akane, Nabiki! Great day isn't it?" Ranma landed in front of them. It was indeed a bright sunny day, and Ranma looked to be full of energy.  
  
Deru dropped down next. "I am most pleased to see you both again." He gave a small formal bow.  
  
Ukyo came down beside him. "Hi. I'm Ukyo Kunoji. Pleased to meet ya."  
  
Introductions were made all round. Akane suddenly felt a bit out of place in her gi.  
  
Ranma noticed her discomfort but mistook it. "Don't worry. Today we're going to find out your level and get to know ya. We're not going to push it much this time."  
  
Akane was about to reply heatedly that she could take anything, when Ukyo said to Nabiki. "Sorry about this sugar. At lunchtime me and Deru can go over the info you have on the shop. I'm afraid it's going to be a bit of a thin time for you until then."  
  
Nabiki grinned her cat like grin. "Oh I'm sure I can keep myself occupied." 'Calculating my profit on this little transaction, watching those two guys working up a sweat, maybe a few snapshots.' She licked her lips. She'd just fade into the background with her borrowed video recorder.  
  
They moved, at Deru's suggestion, to a clearing in the wooded part of the park. There were four thuds as nearly half a ton of gear in four packs hit the dirt. Nabiki unrolled a mat from Akane's pack and sat down to watch the fun. Ranma stood out front.  
  
"Okay Akane, I figured we'd start with an assessment. I've seen you fight, now show me the basic kata for Anything Goes. I know our style's more improvisation than forms, but those we do use are the basis of just about everything else."  
  
Akane pulled in her focus, stepped out to the front, then ripped through the sequences her father had taught her so many years ago, and which she'd practiced every day. Jumps, kicks, strikes, evasions, these were hers to command. She forgot about the watchers as she lost herself in the movements. Finally she finished with the Stone breaker punch, the same one that frequently pulverised cinderblocks in the dojo. Then she came back to herself and looked over at the trio. She'd put a lot into it and was breathing deeply by the end. (2)  
  
Ukyo smiled and said. "First time I saw another girl going through that. It's going to be good having someone new to train with. You got the power, sugar."  
  
Ranma was nodding. "Yep, you've got the form exactly." He sighed. "That's part of the problem. Your dad taught you the same patterns pops did. What he didn't figure out was that those forms were optimised for guys. It's like there sensei never figured girls would use it. Must have been some kind of girl hater."  
  
Akane was interested. Her father had never mentioned anything about his own teacher. "Has your father ever told you anything about him?" She used the word 'father' in a way that indicated low regard for the senior Saotome.  
  
Ranma shook his head. "Nope, pops always clammed up whenever I asked. I think he ain't around anymore. Anyway when Ukyo started learning it, I noticed it wasn't quite right so I figured out a few variations for her. Never thought I'd get to use them myself, but. Hang on. it's better to show you."  
  
Deru tossed him a water bottle and in seconds the red head stood there. Akane exclaimed at how relaxed Ranma was about this compared to the last time she'd seen him.  
  
"Since we can't do anything about the curse, we both decided to make use of it. Your big sister gave some good advice. Now watch carefully, particularly the stances, the ranges and the breathing." He went through what, to the untrained eye looked like the same kata. Akane's eyes were not untrained, and she saw the differences. Where she'd powered through the moves Ranma flowed. She could see how some of the changes were designed around the physique of a woman. That Ranma had apparently derived them while still a boy was even more impressive.  
  
Ranma finished the patterns, his breathing far calmer. "Alright, Ukyo, Deru, join in. I know bro and I could do with the practice in these bodies."  
  
Deru used the cold water, then they took up stances either side of her and they went through the female version katas, one by one, first step by step then as a single pattern. Akane could always see someone as an example. Not that she needed it, the new methods made sense. Ranma also put in bunkai, applications for the moves as they went through them. Akane found herself having fun, taking it in turns with the other three as an attacker or using the kata to fend them off.  
  
Nabiki, while not a martial artist herself was a student of form, vital for her betting pools. Even she could see her little sister getting into the new moves. Ranma was clearly in his element, practicing the art she loved with people who were eager to learn and teach in turn. She kept on throwing in new things, apparently on the spur of the moment.  
  
Eventually Ranma called the session to a halt after almost an hour of non- stop exercise. "Okay guys take a break!" She bowed to each of them, about the only formality he'd shown the entire time. She used a thermos with a red band of tape on herself and then tossed it to Deru. "You did good Akane. Practice the new forms and I know you'll start seeing results almost straight away."  
  
Akane nodded happily. "It's been so long since I had someone to practice with, rather than just fight. I'd almost forgotten what a buzz it was."  
  
He grinned back. "I had fun too." He pulled a second thermos from his pack. "Time to rehydrate. Tea?" At Akane's agreement he pulled out two half litre mugs and filled them. Deru and Ukyo were doing the same from their packs, and sharing a moment.  
  
Akane decided to show her gratitude. "I've got just the thing to go with this. I made them last night." She pulled out the bag of cookies she'd painstakingly worked on.  
  
Ranma was first up for them. "Cool, snack time! There must be something about cooking and martial arts. Practically every martial artist I've met seems to cook. Ucchan, Shampoo, Deru, even I can put together a fair meal." (3) He picked out one. "Animal crackers?" He didn't say what sort of animal he thought it was, which was just as well.  
  
Nabiki was torn between killing herself with laughter and yelling out to prevent a poisoning. She coughed into her mug. "You okay sugar?" Ukyo asked.  
  
Ranma bit into it. There was a crunch. "Oww." Then the taste hit. He manfully swallowed and gasped, taking a big swallow from his mug.  
  
"You like them?" Akane asked, oblivious to the signs.  
  
Ranma was torn between truthfulness and not alienating his new student. "Uh. maybe you should try one. There must have been a mix up somewhere." (4)  
  
Akane picked out her own and tasted it. "Gahhh! This is awful! I'm sorry Ranma, I was sure this recipe would be really tasty." (5)  
  
Ranma could see she was really crestfallen. "It's okay Akane, anyone can make a mistake. I always sample stuff as I go to make sure it turns out right."  
  
Ukyo joined in. "Maybe I can tell what went wrong." She picked up a cookie and tasted it. "Hon, I hate to tell you this, but I think you got the salt switched with the sugar."  
  
Akane looked surprised. "That really makes such a big difference?"  
  
Mass face faulting occurred on the Saotome side.  
  
Nabiki recovered first, knowing Akane already knew of her opinion. "Akane, you really should give up on it. The only difference between us is I _know_ I can't cook."  
  
"I can cook, it's just sometimes things don't come out exactly right." Akane snapped.  
  
Ukyo stepped in. "Don't sweat it. If you're looking for a few pointers I can help. Who do you think taught Deru and Ranma?"  
  
Deru snuggled up to her. "Another of your long list of good points, Ucchan." Warm and fuzzy waves started radiating from the pair.  
  
Nabiki sighed, a memory of Akane's last effort at 'helping' Kasumi in the kitchen floating through the yen signs that usually occupied her head. "If you can teach Akane to cook, you'll be a miracle worker."  
  
Ranma slurped the last of his tea and bounced up. He pulled a big sack out of his backpack. "We can talk cookery later. You ready to start up some serious training?"  
  
[TBC]  
  
1) When it isn't over ridden by her twin obsessions of making money or mischief, Nabiki can be a decent human being, no really.  
  
2) Akane does show considerable martial skill on several occasions in cannon, and I don't just mean when beaning Ranma. There's a lot of room below Ranma's level to still be pretty good.  
  
3) In the cannon Ranma starts out a poor cook and so is his dad. He says it himself in the Breaking Point story in the manga. He doesn't improve until Nodoka arrives and starts teaching him as 'Ranko'.  
  
4) This Ranma knows that tact doesn't just describe something pinned to a wall. However just as in the cannon, he doesn't like seeing a girl unhappy.  
  
5) In response, Akane isn't preset to explode, and Ranma hasn't goaded her into it. She does taste her own cooking, if someone gives her reason to in the cannon.  
  
Extra blah (Replies to individual reviews at the bottom)  
  
Thank you everyone who's reviewed so far. I'm really glad no-one thinks Deru is over-powered or out of place. While I have seen examples where a Mary Sue or Gary Stu type has been used to good effect, they are rare. Fanfic authors have god-like power, so their characters should move in mysterious ways. My whole purpose was to try adding a character who wasn't able to solve things instantly. He's not all powerful or all knowing and it's going to turn around and bite him in the future. I wanted to break another convention as well. Most characters are newly inserted. Deru has been there the whole time and been as affected by the world he lives in.  
  
The other idea I wanted to explore was multiple happy endings. I felt sorry for Ranma, Akane and Ukyo in the manga.  
  
Ranma gains great martial skill at the cost of any peace or happiness. Takahashi-sama put in a sop at the end of volume 38 where Ranma and Akane are seen holding hands, but didn't resolve anything, not even his curse. As far as I can see he's never had a true friend who hasn't been taken away by circumstance. Ukyo ends up as a fiancee and that poisons their renewed friendship. Akane's friendship last about 5 minutes. Um. that's about every real friendship he ever had.  
  
Akane starts out as a nice enough girl who's being stressed into unhappiness by bullying at school (just because she wins the fights doesn't resolve them). She then gets huge amounts of stress laid on her by her father and sisters and the subsequent insanity. You don't really need Rage Disorder as a suggestion for why she gets violent. Combat fatigue is probably nearer the mark. The kind of uncertainty she goes through would be enough to destroy anyones sanity.  
  
Then there's Ukyo. Even if in the cannon, Akane manages to find love for Ranma and so defocuses her anger, and Ranma in turn falls in love with Akane, overcoming the huge damage to his ability to trust, there's still no possibility for Ukyo to have a happy ending. Whereas a dis-honourable slime- ball like Ryouga gets a custom made happy ending, courtesy of Akari, Ukyo has the ninja Konatsu, who she simply can't love. Despite being forced into cross dressing, she doesn't like cross dressers herself (vide Tsubasa). Besides Konatsu thinks of himself as a girl, and would probably use the preservation kettle and nannichuan in an instant, given the opportunity. Barring some massive upheaval I see them as an even less likely couple then Akane and Ranma.  
  
Brother Angelon - Glad you liked my method of bringing in the character. On later covers of the manga the hair colour is everything from yellow to purple. See also Devil Imps comments.  
  
Kinai - Thank you. Let's hope neither the Knights of the True Fiancee or the Akane is a Psycho factions read this fic.  
  
Vixen - 1) I will try to keep my finger off the power-up button. 2) Did you say cute? ~ does Ukyo impression ~ 3) Where can I find Rejected? I said about it because it's only explained in volume 20 and many people havn't seen it. 4) The pathetic panda purveyor of perverse pummeling practices (not my alliteration BTW) shall get what's coming to him. oh yes indeedy. I've got _plans_.   
  
Teiichi - Thank you. Who is the assassin? As for the hair colour thing see Devil Imps comments.  
  
Devil Imp - I concur with your reasoning about Ranma's hair. The key thing is Kuno. He always refers to Ranma-chan as the pig-tailed girl. Considering his florid style you'd expect him to make a comment about flaming hair or crimson tresses at some point.  
  
Hermione () - You'll probably like my Slayers the New Generation OVA, coming soon to this web page. As for my choice of nickname it was entirely. random. ~ grins ~  
  
Tyverius - I'm sorry about the comments in the body text. I will try and put anything other than translation notes as footnotes, and even them if it's more than a few lines. When I said about Ranma deserving to get hit I'm talking about from cannon Akane's highly subjective viewpoint. I'm not advocating angelic Akane either. See my above comments about combat fatigue. Cannon Ranma is sometimes a jerk too, c.f. Reversal jewel. He's so desperate to hang on to any scrap of self worth he fouls up. 


End file.
